Someone To Stay

57

"No no stop. Please stop don't." I whimpered as my rapist held his hand to my throat.

"Cam. Cam. CAM WHERE ARE YOU?" I could hear JJ's voice from a mile away but my ears were ringing and my head was spinning.

"JJ, IM DOWN HERE HELP ME PLEASE." I screamed out in pain. "JJ WHERE ARE YOU HELP ME PLEASE."

"Shh baby I'm right here." My eyes shot open and I realized that JJ was right in front of me. It was just a dream. It was just a dream I told myself. "What's wrong?" I checked the clock and it was 11 in the morning. JJ's laptop was open on her lap which meant that she had been working.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just a bad dream." I sat up and wiped the sweat off of my face. She shut her laptop and looked over at me.

"Hey." Her voice turned soft as she put her hand on my back. "What was it about?"!

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, knowing that it was no use since after I tried to kill myself she told me that I needed to talk to her.

"Talk to me." She grabbed my face gently and I tensed up. "It's ok, I promise." I tried to get myself to relax but I couldn't. My heart rate started to pick up and I was getting lightheaded. "Cam. Look at me." I turned to her and was met with her loving eyes. "It's ok. I promise it's ok. Just talk to me." It sounded like she was pleading and it broke my heart.

"Ok." I nodded and waited for my head to stop spinning. I reached for her hand and played with her fingers. She kissed the top of my head as I looked down and gave me her other hand to play with. "I had a really bad nightmare...the worst one I've had in months." She nodded, coaxing me into going on. "I was being raped." My breath hitched and I looked anywhere but her eyes.

"You can look at me." She assured me. It took me a second but I was finally able to meet her eyes.

"You were there. You were calling out to see where I was and I answered but you couldn't hear me and he kept going and it hurt-"

"Shh, it's ok." She pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back as I cried. I didn't even realize that I was crying. "Thank you for telling me." I nodded into her shoulder and after a few minutes she tried to pull away but I didn't let her. She laughed softly when she realized that I had stopped crying and was just being clingy.

"Don't let go." I whispered, loving nothing more than just being in her arms.

"I have to do my work."

"I thought the whole point of us taking 2 months off was to not do work."

"The whole point was so that you could focus on your mental health and so that I could be here for you." I sighed and still didn't let go. "But seriously Cam I need to get back to work." I shook my head. She lied down on her back and I still held onto her, falling down on top of her. She laughed a little more and then put her laptop on my back. I shrugged it off and she sighed. "Cam I'm serious."

"JJ, I'm in need of attention." She scoffed and pushed me off of her. I whined but she grabbed her laptop instead. I rolled off of the bed and onto the floor, offended.

"Cam get back up here."

"Only if you hug me."

"Fine." She shut her laptop and I flung myself into her arms. She couldn't help but laugh at my clinginess. "I can never stay mad at you."

"I know." I mumbled into her neck. She held me tightly and kissed my shoulder as I let out a happy sigh. She tried to pull away again but I held her tightly. "Don't let go."

"Baby I have to do some work." I sighed and let go of her, rolling onto my stomach. "You're not gonna be ok if I'm not holding you are you?" I shook my head and she pulled me back into her arms, shutting her laptop. "You're lucky I love you."

"I feel very lucky to be loved by you."