Someone To Stay

50

Today I just felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't have any motivation and I was on the verge of tears but I couldn't cry. I didn't even know why I felt like crying I just did. "What do you want to do today?" JJ asked as she got out of bed.

"I don't know."

"Wanna come shower with me?" She offered. I shook my head and she nodded, going back into the bathroom to shower.

Fifteen minutes later she came back and sat down on the bed next to me. "Want me to make you some breakfast?" I shook my head. "Well...is there anything you want to do today?" I just shrugged. "Hey." Her voice turned soft as she put her hand on my arm, caressing it with her thumb. "Are you ok?" I shrugged again and she walked around the bed, knowing I wasn't going to turn over and knelt down in front of me. "Come on beautiful...talk to me."

"I don't wanna do anything." I mumbled. "I don't wanna get out of bed." She nodded, understanding what I meant.

"What do you need from me?"

"Can I just have a little space?" She nodded and got up, leaving the door open a crack before going to sit down on the couch. I heard her turn the tv on and I felt a few years roll down my cheeks. I didn't even have the energy to wipe them away. I just stared at the wall. My chest tightened as I tried not to sob.

"Baby I'm going to go to the store, ok? Text me if you need anything!" JJ called from the front door.

"Ok." I agreed before hearing the door shut.

She arrived an hour later and I haven't moved. She opened the door to our bedroom and I felt the bed dip beside me. She put her hand on my arm and I relaxed. "Are you sure there's nothing that I can do?"

"Can you just...can you hold me?" I whispered, fighting back tears.

"Of course baby." She rubbed my arm and then lied down in the bed next to me, putting her arm over my stomach, pulling me close to her and kissing the back of my shoulder, burying her face into my back. I put my hand over the hand she had on my stomach and caressed it before lacing our fingers together. She moved our hands so that they were under my shirt and then she started to caress my stomach, occasionally kissing my shoulder. "Do you wanna talk?" I shook my head. "Can you look at me?" I shook my head again and held her hand a little tighter. I just needed her to hold me right now.

"I love you." I whispered to her.

"I love you too baby." She kissed my shoulder again lovingly and then started leaving butterfly kisses anywhere she could reach, wanting to make me feel loved and appreciated. "I'm here when you want to talk." I nodded.

"Thank you."

"Of course." She propped herself up on her elbow and moved my hair away from my neck so that she could kiss the back of it.

We lied down in silence for two hours before I turned around in her arms, burying my face in her chest. She put her hand on the side of my face and caressed my cheek, kissing the top of my head. I grabbed her arm gently and put it around my body. She held me again and I blinked away a few more tears. "I love you." She whispered against the top of my head. I hummed and tangled our legs together, starting to just feel a little bit better.

I sighed against her chest a few minutes later and she me tighter, not asking me anything because she knew that I didn't want to talk. She rubbed my back and put her hand under my shirt, tracing circles on my back, making me relax even more. "You wanna watch a movie or anything?"

"No. I just wanna lay here with you." She nodded and kissed the top of my head.

"We can definitely do that. I'm here for you. I love you."

"I love you too."