Someone To Stay

53

JJ had ordered Hotch to get me even more time off at work because she was concerned for my mental state. She said she would stay with me too because she didn't want me to be alone. The only problem is that we are both off for 2 months so he has to call in replacements for us.

I slept in until 1 in the afternoon, mad at JJ for making me take so much time off of work. "Cam you have to get up and eat something." JJ said, sitting back down in the bed next to me and putting her hand on my back.

"I'm too tired." She lied down on her side and propped herself up on her elbow.

"Come on baby." I sighed and sat up. She stared at me and I gave her a small smile. She smiled back and I leaned in to give her a kiss. "That's my girl." I put my head on her shoulder to rest for a few more seconds and then I got up and went to the kitchen.

"YOU GOT ME A SANDWICH?" I put my hands over my mouth and turned to her. She nodded and I ran over to her for a hug. She kissed the side of my head and rubbed my back. I pulled away from her and she smiled at me with tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?" She shook her head.

"I'm just happy." She whispered, I nodded and walked over to the sandwich, staring at it in awe. She sat down next to me and stared at me while I ate.

"Why are you so happy that you're crying?" I asked her once I was done.

"You're love for sandwiches...I thought I'd never see you get excited over a sandwich again. It's stupid but...I would really miss it." My heart sank.

"I'm really sorry JJ." She nodded and put her hand over mine.

"I'm just really happy that you're ok." She caressed my hand and I nodded.

"It's not stupid." I moved closer to her. "I love the little things about you too. Like how concentrated you look when you work. How you smile every time you a baby or dog." She smiled and leaned in to give me a sweet kiss. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"Well...you don't have to worry about that." Those words felt like a stab to the heart. I hadn't really processed how killing myself would hurt the people around me, especially JJ. She was everything to me and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her. She snapped her fingers to pull me out of my thoughts. "What's wrong?" I shook my head.

"Nothing."

"Cam." She tilted her head.

"Trust me. It's nothing." I whispered.

"I can't trust that anymore." I nodded and tried not to cry. "So what's wrong?" I shook my head again. "Cam."

"It's literally nothing." I said, standing up to walk away.

"No, come back." She said, grabbing my wrist. "You need to talk."

"I just...I'm really sorry." I looked down at the ground. "I didn't really process what me dying would do to you. I don't know what I would do without you...I feel really guilty for what I put you through." She nodded and pulled me in for a hug. "I love you so much."

"I love you too baby." She kissed my cheek and held me for a while until I told her I wanted to go back to bed. "Want me to come with?" I nodded and we went back to the bedroom. I sighed as I crawled under the covers.

"You're gonna make me talk a lot aren't you?"

"Whenever you seem off." She kissed my forehead and rubbed my back. I kissed her sweetly and she whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Soon, my heart had synced with hers and I had relaxed completely, a feeling that was only possible when I was with her.