Someone To Stay

15

I heard the phone ring but I didn't get out of bed. I had taken a half day and I still had 15 minutes to stay in bed. The phone beeped and a few seconds later a voicemail came through. "Baby you're not answering your cell and I just need to know you're ok. Call me back or text me or something please." I heard JJ's voice from from the home phone.

"JJ." I whispered, sitting up. A thousand images flashed through my head. They were all from the same memory...just pieces out of order. I hit my head to try to get them to stop but they wouldn't. I felt a sense of fear crash over me but I didn't stop crying I was just frozen.

A lot of time must had passed because I was snapped out of my thoughts by a pounding on the door. I snapped a few times and then lied back down, wanting to be alone. I heard the doorknob turn and I shot up. My hands started to shake as I walked out of the bedroom. Who was it? "Cam! Cam!" I heard JJ's voice and I relaxed. "What the hell! I called you 100 times and you didn't answer. You were supposed to be at work an hour ago!" I turned to my right and saw her.

"What? It's not 2 yet." I checked the clock and it was 3:03.

"JJ. JJ. JJ. I thought you were someone else." I mumbled before leaning against the counter. The sound of the doorknob was the same sound as that night. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll get dressed I'll go to work right now."

"Hey no, Cam sit down." She put her hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. "Cam. Cam. Camden. Sit down now." She guided me over to the couch.

"Stop."

"Stop what. I'm not doing anything."

"Stop my brain. Please."

"I'm not going to lie Cam, you sound like you're on drugs."

"I'm not on drugs." I told her, holding my face in my hands.

"Baby, I'm sorry. What happened?"

"My brain won't stop." I whispered. "It's like photos. But they're out of order. It's darkness but I feel it. Like really scared and my body hurts." I shivered and she put her arms around me.

"Hey it's ok."

"I can't stop." She grabbed my cheeks and made me face her.

"Camden, focus on me. It's ok. You're right here. You're with me. Nothing is going to hurt you, it's just me and you. The door is locked, the lights are on. You're ok." I nodded and I focused on her eyes. She looked calm but worried. Like she really wanted to help me.

"I'm ok?" She nodded and I looked down.

"Did you take your meds?" I nodded and she grabbed me some water. "When did this start?"

"When you left."

"Does it feel better when I'm here?" I nodded. "I'll stay with you the rest of the day. Why didn't you answer any of my calls?"

"I didn't want to get out of bed." I whispered.

"Do you need anything?"

"I'm really hot." She took off my hoodie and left me in my t-shirt. I curled up into a ball and stared at the wall.

"Hey, can you look at me?" I turned to her and saw her looking at me with caring eyes. "Have you eaten yet?" I shook my head. "I'll order something, what do you want?"

"A sandwich." She nodded and left to get her phone. As soon as she left I felt my chest tighten.

"JJ. Can you stay with me please?" She grabbed her cell phone and came back to me. She made a quick call and then kissed the top of my head. I reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Can you just hold me?" She nodded and put her arms around me, holding me tightly and running her hands through my hair.

"Are you ok now?" I nodded and put my arms around her, resting my head on her shoulder. I adjusted so that I was straddling her lap. I relaxed my muscles and she rubbed my back. "Are you sure you're ok?" I didn't answer and just stared at her neck. "Cam?"

"I don't know what's happening." I admitted.

"It's ok. You don't have to know what's happening. Just talk to me if you feel like you need to talk."

"Thank you JJ...I will." I leaned back and she tucked my hair behind my ears. She kissed my forehead and I looked away from her.

"Hey, look at me." She grabbed my face gently and made me look at her. "I love you."

"I love you."