The Tale of Love & Racing: Sarina's Story

Chapter 7: "I should've just left it alone."

I think in life in general you can't let people run over you and let them away with it otherwise they are just going to keep doing it. I think that is just a part of life. If you let somebody control you too much they are probably going to take advantage of you as it goes on.

– Chase Elliott, Goodyear Tire Test at Texas, January 10

Wednesday, January 10 – North Carolina

Chase walks through the front door, closing it behind him as he slips off his coat and shoes. While it was certainly fun to get back in the swing of things, it was also nice to be home once again.

He was caught off-guard by how quiet the house was as he peaked into the living room to see if Sarina was there – no sight of her. He then made his way to the kitchen, stopping immediately as he entered the doorway. His eyes passed over a hole in the wall in surprise, before landing and locking on Sarina, who was sitting at the table with her hands clutched around a cup.

Taking a deep breath, his mind immediately began putting together theories as he slowly made his way into the kitchen, taking a seat beside her. He imagined the worst case scenarios - some entering, but then he should've gotten a car. He imagined scenarios of frustration. 

"Hey," he tried to say calmly as possible as he caught her attention. He didn't want to let on about the panic he was feeling, knowing she probably needed comfort right now given everything. 

"Hey," she replies quietly, turning her eyes back away and to the hole in the wall. It was the only reminder she needed that she had messed up yet again. "You were right, by the way. I should've just left it alone." Chase could tell by her simple words the phone conversation didn't go well, and probably out of frustration the hole found its way to the wall. At least it wasn't as bad as some of the theories he imagined.

"You couldn't had known for sure without calling. For all you know, it could've went well and you could've grown closer together. it was worth the chance, if you ask me." She then turns her eyes back on him, surprised by his response. That was the complete opposite of what he had shared with her before he left. Why was he changing the tone right now? Was this a sympathy ploy to make her feel better?

"Even if you ended up with a hole in the wall?" He glanced back over at the wall, shaking his head in disbelief. His mind filled with plenty of thoughts surrounding it, but he wasn't about to explode them all on her at once. It was clear she had enough on her mind already.

"We can easily fix that. I will get that done first thing tomorrow morning." He then reaches over, slowly placing his hand on top of hers, as her eyes fail to leave him. "All that matters to me is you, your feelings, and how you're doing. What happened?"

"I got off the phone with her, so frustrated and angry and maybe even feeling a tad bit of sadness and regret – just so many emotions together. I can't even begin to describe it. It just took me over and in the midst of tears, that happened." She takes a deep breath as her eyes fall back on the table. "I just don't know what came over me...."

"What happened when you called her?" She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, thinking back to the conversation. It wasn't something she'd prefer to repeat given what was said. 

"She was surprised to hear my voice, but she was glad to hear from me. The only reason, though? She had some other things that she wanted to say to me before you cut her off on Sunday. She said there were loop holes, things that could've been changed – and she's right, Chase. I could've and should've done a lot of things differently the-"

"You were only 15 when everything began to take motion. Anybody would understand a 15-year-old making mistakes, having regrets over decisions – especially one who is grieving the death of her father. I know what I was like at the time. I can tell you if something happened to Mom or Dad then, I would've been a mess, too. You can't let it eat at you, okay?" She nods her head, accepting. Perhaps Shelley was wrong in her words. Perhaps she shouldn't let it bother her as much.