Union

34.

Maria
Seeing the evidence of what was done to Roel has anger like I've never felt before burning me. I'm not a person who has strong emotions about anything but the mottled skin and burns on his young back without anything to disguise them made me want to throw up. His face isn't in the photo but his shoulders are hunched over bracing for an attack while the sick fucking bastards documented their abuse.
Roel doesn't say anything on the drive, the humour and anger that usually sits in his eyes is missing. It's like he's locked away and I don't want to push him out. Even the way he moves is different, it's heavier like his limbs have extra weight and it's difficult to carry them. The twinges in his shoulders have emotion clogging my throat knowing that's where most of his scars are.
Not allowing any space between us he keeps me tucked to his side as we go up to the penthouse. The soft kiss against my hair make the lump in my throat grow bigger, he's trying to deal with it on his own and I want to help him. I've never felt more useless.
Roel comes back to normal as soon as we enter through the doors like the world is trapped and his face lights up staring at something on the kitchen island. Holding my shoulders he blocks my view and has a wide smile on his face. "You can't set these ones on fire engjëlli." Looking off he tilts his head and adds. "Fuck it, you can if you want to." I don't know what he's talking about and he won't let me see.
Covering my eyes Roel guides me further into the penthouse and holds my hips to position me where he wants me. I can feel the heat of his body at my back as he whispers. "Open your eyes." Blinking I see an enormous flower arrangement, cream roses dotted with green surrounded by the most pristine white ones. The buds are the size of my palm and there must be over 100 of them filling up the entire space.
Remembering why he thought I would set them on fire my laugh bubbles out. "I love them, I promise they won't be ripped apart and set aflame." Leaning further into Roel's steady chest he hums unhappy with my promise. When his hand comes up to touch one of them I grab his wrist before he can touch it. "Don't ruin them, they're mine." The words rush out of me and he stops tightening his arms around me again.
Speaking against my ear my eyes go wide at his explanation. "You need to rip them apart Angel, they're made out of hundreds. One rose for every day you've been my wife." My eyes focus zooming into the green patterns that show exactly what he said. How the fuck he managed to get roses created out of a hundred dollar bill is insane, they're huge so I can't imagine it's just one.
Reading my mind Roel sways me and kisses my shoulder. "Each one took eight, it's yours engjëlli." In every universe where someone could hold a poll for the most romantic gesture, this one wins. Turning in his arms I loop my arms around his neck and declare. "You win the competition the others are having." Holding my ass he massages already laying claim despite his question. "Oh yeah, what's my prize?"
Stroking his jaw I trace his features with my finger watching the light come back into the jade eyes I love. "What do you want?" He doesn't think about the answer and his eyes fill with an emotion I can't name. "You." I nod expecting him to rip my clothes off but Roel pulls me into his chest and just holds me.
He doesn't say anything just keeps taking deep breaths, loosening his hold he decides against it and pull me closer. "Are you ok caro mio?" My voice is muffled against his chest but Roel hears it and smiles into my shoulder before the playfulness comes back. "Worried about me wife?" The title doesn't bother me, Roel has given it a different meaning than the one I grew up with. Leaning back to look at him, I try to keep him with me. "Always husband."
Cupping my face in both hands he stares at my lips and and one word leaves him softly. "Again." Pulling my lips between my teeth he kisses the skin where my lips should be. "Say it again angel, and I'll fuck you over the side of this building." Shaking my head at his enticing offer, I bite down keeping my lips closed. "Three million?" He says the amount like it's nothing and takes my statue pose for an answer. "Ok, ten? Fifteen? Want me to sign everything I have over to you?" I shake my head and my lips pop out from my jaw turning slack. It's a word but he acts like it's everything.
Leaning into him, something hard digs into my belly and I look down seeing the outline of his dick. Looking back up slowly I raise one eyebrow and my voice is a whisper. "You weren't lying about your kink." Roel grabs my ass and walks me back until I'm sandwiched between him and the marble. Grinding into me, he runs his nose across my jaw speaking directly into my ear. "Sometimes I think if you breathed on me I'd cum, it's fucking hard work not to blow straight away when I get into heaven." Cupping me from behind, to emphasise what he calls heaven Roel doesn't take it further and kisses my cheek. "Not now engjëlli, we've got company." As if on cue the door goes and Roel pulls me with him as he goes to answer.
I don't expect our company to be an attractive woman with a travel case. Roel greets her obviously knowing who she is but a pit opens up in my stomach the longer they talk. I'm sure my mumbled hello is rude as fuck but neither of them comment on it. The familiarity stays and acid burns the back of my throat when he instructs her to come inside. "Get set up in the usual place, I'll change and we can start." It feels like he's pushing a dagger into me, no fucking way is he sleeping with someone while I'm stood right here.
Pushing away my emotions, I give her a tight lipped smile and leave them to whatever the fuck they're going to do. I'm such an idiot, I believed him and as soon as I did he went and called one of his usual buddies. Tears burn the back of my eyes the closer I get to my room but I won't let them fall. Slamming the door the noise doesn't come and someone moves around me faster than I can anticipate.
Roel stands in front of me full of confusion and worry. I bet that's fake or he really forgot everything he said. Keeping my face impassive, I don't react when he cups my cheek. Or when he strokes along the bone and asks softly. "What's wrong?" Ignoring him I fixate on the luggage that I left. At least I'll have less packing to do.
Unhappy with having no reaction, Roel moves into my line of vision getting pissed. "Don't you dare shut me out." My own anger flares up at his stupid fucking order. Pushing against his chest with both hands he doesn't move and stays rooted to the spot. "I'm not going to sit here while you fucking cheat on me." The bastard laughs, head tipped up to the sky and laughs so fucking hard he leans into me. When Roel sobers the laughter still twines through his words and I deflate. "Natasha's my tattoo artist, now be a good wife and keep me company while I add you to my collection."
My face heats in embarrassment at my emotional outburst but Roel kisses the tip of my nose shaking his head like it's cute. Pulling me out of the room I look towards where Natasha is setting up and she doesn't look bothered or like she heard so I feel less humiliated. Roel keeps hold of my hand as he goes into his room and changes into a pair of work out shorts. Holding my hips when he's done he kisses my neck and speaks softly. "Two things I will never do, fuck around on you or raise my hand. I can't promise I won't get pissed sometimes but I will never intentionally hurt you."
Kissing my forehead he walks us back out and Natasha has a black massage bed set up in the living room. Already gloved with a tray set up with her inks, she waits for Roel to lay down. I've never seen someone be tattooed before so I'm watching in fascination at how quick the needle moves once the stencil has been placed on his neck. He doesn't wince at the pain but I do and the two who are clearly used to this keep going. The black ink is smudged so I can't tell how Natasha can see the outline she created but she's in her zone finishing the permanent lines and moves on to the shading.
Looking away when red dots against the black ink I let the buzzing pull my thoughts away for the reason it's there. Roel's body is covered in ink, his back is full and he has scrapbook tattoos along his chest but I don't like seeing the needles pressing into his skin. Even if he doesn't react to it, I know it has to hurt.
The buzzing stops and I don't look as Roel checks his new artwork and tells Natasha to take a break. "Engjëlli, your needed for the next one." Pulling my attention to him I get up and go to his side not looking at his neck. It's covered so I can't see the design but it makes it look like he's injured.
Roel holds my hand interlocking our fingers together as he sits on the edge of the bed. Reaching behind him I can see how red and raw his skin is under his ear and I can't look away. Coming back with a pen in his hand, he uncaps it with his teeth and passes it into my free hand. Roel holds his left hand out like I'm supposed to do something and I stare dumbly at him until he explains. "Full name baby."
The pressure on the first day of school to write nearly on the blank page of a notebook is nothing compared to writing my name on his hand. I don't let the nib touch his skin and Roel laughs like an asshole. Unthreading our fingers he positions the pen where he wants me to write and acts like a bigger asshole when he opens his mouth. "It starts with a M if that helps you." I should right dickhead so it's on him forever.
Keeping my writing small he turns and grabs a wipe to erase it. When it's clear again, Roel stretches his fingers so the skin between his thumb and forefinger is taut and keeps his voice gentle trying not to make me give up. "Start on my thumb on end on my finger, Maria Çami." Nodding along, I squat down giving it my full attention and he strokes my hair like I need reinforcing to write my own name.
Looking up when I'm done, Roel's smile is full of warmth and his voice is deep with desire. "Good girl, engjëlli on this one." Why is this making me clench my thighs together? Moving on to his left hand I do as instructed and write it in the same place as my name on his right.
Natasha comes back once I've stood up and starts again. She makes easy conversation telling me about how long she's been tattooing and distracting me from Roel's blood soaking the cloth she wipes the ink away with. This one is quicker and the see through dressing lets me see the tattoos clearly. Natasha packs up her things telling Roel how to care for them and to call her if there's any additions he wants.
I'm too busy staring at Roel's hands to contribute anything but a quick goodbye. The writing is script, swirls and a fleur de lis pattern on the ends going up his fingers and thumbs. When Roel moves his hands further down he joins them together and makes a heart over his groin. "Will you kiss my heart engjëlli?"