Union

3.

Maria
I fucked up and then Roel had to add more fuel to the fire of my lie. When H steps out of Niko's office his smile is soft and I already know I'm going to fucking hate whatever he comes out with. Gesturing for me to enter, I smooth the skirt of my dress down and follow.
Every head whips to me, Roel looks at me with disinterest for once and it shocks me. He always has lust burning in his eyes but now it's dimmed.
I don't fall under any of the families so the formal meeting is overkill. H takes control having taken me under his wing, so much that he even gives me an allowance. I don't spend it now that I have my own, I've even paid it back into the account he set up. "You're marrying Roel." His words are like a gavel, it's fitting because he just sentenced me to my worst fucking nightmare.
Looking at the asshole accusingly, Roel has the fucking audacity to match my stare. "You have two months to make this shit look real." Dion's words ring out and he leaves giving his order. Is this how they all fucking live? Give people orders and expect them to follow. I've never seen them act as anything other than who they are rather than their fucking titles of entitlement. Masking my features, I do what I do best and act like nothing happened.

Mother's calls go unanswered, Rizzo wasted no time to tell everyone the lie. I can't deal with her fake niceties trying to find out if I've found a better option than they did. It will end up in an argument and I'll get iced out again. Speaking to my parents requires preparation, like doing anal because I leave the conversation fucked.
Expecting Klea to be here soon, I don't think twice when there's a rap against the door. "It's open." I shout out, this building is safer than anywhere else so I rarely lock the door. Everyone knocks before entering so it isn't like I'll be caught doing something I shouldn't be.
Heavy footsteps come closer, no light airy footsteps and I turn to see Roel's annoyingly beautiful face. "Keep your door locked, some fucker could walk right in." He looks pissed, nostrils flaring and his mouth set in a hard line. Raising an eyebrow I look him up and down pointing out that's exactly what's happened.
Unaffected by me, he takes the seat opposite and reclines back with his arms crossed behind his head. "We have to come to an agreement. I don't want to be married but you've fucked us both, engjëlli." His voice is as erratic as the man, Roel is like a rollercoaster dipping between two emotions. Anger and humour is all he knows and he wears both well. His anger promises violence but it doesn't ever scare me, growing up with cruelty as the backing track of your childhood makes fights and bloodshed your comfort.
Straightening in my seat, I cross my legs and roll my hand when he doesn't continue. "You're moving in with me, I don't give a fuck what you do as long as it's not disrespectful." Roel waits for me to agree and I keep the indifference in my body language. He sighs and scrubs a hand down his face knowing it's the best answer he's going to get.
Roel doesn't look away and I add my own conditions. "I won't tolerate your disrespect either." The meaning behind my words isn't missed, he can't fuck whoever he wants and expect me to play the role of his wife. I'll happily cut off my nose to spite my face if he does. When understanding sinks in his face falls and he shakes his head in disbelief. "I'm not going to fuck my fist like I'm 13 years old again." The lust comes back in his eyes as he traces my body and pulls his bottom lip into his mouth.
I don't feel anything for Roel because I don't feel anything for anyone. I've tried dating and relationships, but I leave before the damage can be done. Turning to look out at the skyline, I shrug and my tone is even. "Fuck your fist, or anyone else but be discrete." I can still see him in my periphery, brows coming together slowly expecting a different answer.
People are all the same; they want to be desired. If you take it away from them it makes them want to work harder. It's how I've built my business and bank account but they never realise it's not an act. I'm not trying to be disinterested, I just couldn't give a fuck about what they have to offer. Control might be attractive but I've seen the aftermath, and I won't let history repeat itself.
Moving quicker than I can anticipate, Roel is in front of me holding my chin up so I can't look away. "You can get first refusal, I'll fuck you every night to make this shit worth it. Agreed?" Pulling my face away, I shake my head at his attempt. I can still remember the feel of him inside of me. When the other man left Roel stayed and I didn't leave The Basement until the early hours of the morning. The feathers were loosening on my wings and I had the best soreness between my thighs. Masking all of it, I keep my tone even. "Nice try. Anything else?"
He doesn't let go of my chin as he moves to the side, the feeling of his thumb softly brushing against my jaw until he lets me go has me tilting toward him. Blinking away the lust, we both create distance and Roel takes out something from his pocket. Handing it to me, he pulls on the tab before I can see what it is clearly. "Your key, don't fuck up." Roel's voice is tinged with a threat. He was the one who fucking dragged himself into my sinking ship.
The door opens and Roel moves away as Klea comes into view. She doesn't look surprised to see him and gives him a one armed hug which he returns. They all see her as sweet, innocent and like a little sister. She fits the description with her soft romantic heart.
I never wanted younger siblings after I reached an age where I understood our home wasn't fit for human life. Before then, I dreamed of the day I'd have a little sister who would play with me, Klea is that child's dream.
Ignoring the man who refuses to allow me to, I don't give him a reaction when he winks and says he's leaving. Unfortunately, Klea does as she sits beside me. Her eyes stay rooted on the door until it clicks and she turns to face me fully. "You're getting married to Roel? Why didn't you tell me there was something going on?" She doesn't sound offended only curious. Her romantic heart will be seeing the situation through rose tinted glasses.
Telling her the truth doesn't reduce her optimism and I see the conspiratorial sparkle in her eye. "You could stay married. Use the time to get to know him." Her causal tone doesn't disguise the romcom plot she's already imagining. Pushing away the truth that sits on my tongue, I go to get dressed for tonight and speak over my shoulder. "Vitali will be here in an hour, do you want to spend the time discussing Roel?" It works and Klea jumps up.
Vitali organises fights with his brothers, seeing the men battle brings out my ancestors joy for gladiators. Klea doesn't share my appreciation but has found someone that isn't afraid of Aron and Vitali treats her well. If he doesn't I may become like my new found friends and take up violence for sport.

Using the time we spend going to tonight's venue I respond to the clients I have waiting. All of them are the same but the messages have to be tailored to the specifics. If anyone in Salerno found out how I earn money I'd be labelled a puttana. The worst word any woman can be called in my mothers opinion. We differ in that, being called puttana seems more respectful than wife by my standards. At least the men I entertain aren't fucking me over, they pay for the privilege of me doing it to them.
Walking into the fighting arena, the crowd is alive at the promise of blood despite it being too early for anything to have happened. Klea stays at Vitali's side and I discreetly check to make sure he isn't being a prick and actually protecting her. Seeing his arm around her I part ways and go to the changing rooms.
Kendrix has become a physical friend not an emotional one, and it would be rude of me not to wish him luck before his fight. The men moving around eye with lust and the women next to them give me that annoying look thinking I'm competition. If they realised I'm not the world would be a better place where we lift each up. All of us higher on our platforms instead of assuming that you have to tear someone down in order to steal theirs. It will never work because each of us has been born with our crown moulded to us specifically, it becomes artificial and meaningless when it's on another's head.
I don't know on the door and walk in like the changing room is a ball and I'm the prestigious guest. Kendrix looks up from his spot where he's rolling his shoulders and the smile on his face is wicked. Taking two steps he erases the distance and lifts me up. He doesn't say any bullshit greeting and lays me on the table behind him.
We have a rule, I don't need kisses and sweet words. He doesn't want to give them so it works perfectly for us. I thought sleeping with him would replicate what I felt in The Basement but it barely scratched the itch. Something is missing and I know who it is but I refuse to give him the satisfaction.
Getting into position, he kneels between my spread legs and runs his lips up my inner thighs. It's soft with the addition of his stubble scratching my skin, I want rough but the control is worth too much. Kendrix lifts his head to say something but I thread my fingers through his hair and push his head between my legs. I'm built up full of tension and need the release.
Men do it all the time, grab the back of a head and take what they need to feel good. If a woman enjoys sex it's because she has daddy issues but a man it's due to biology. My daddy issues aren't the reason for the heat inside me but the coldness.
Parents are the only thing whose absence and presence can fuck you up. All because we forget they're human and hold them at a higher standard, they also forget that, and force themselves on the pedestal making their fall shatter not only them but the lives of those around them.
The first swipe of his tongue through my folds has all thoughts but one leaving me. The image of Roel's jade eyes and his voice filter through me and I can almost feel them on me. The air in the room shifts and I pick my head up to see what caused it.
The power of my brain has the sight in front of me and he slowly drags his thumb across his bottom lip. Roel doesn't move closer and stays silent as Kendrix pushes a finger inside of me.