Darkhumor Stories

In which Konoha's beloved jinchūriki finds herself in an odd new world with only Kurama by her side. He insists bijū bombs are the only way to fix this issue. -COMPLETE- BUT rewrite to prep for dark continent arc began 1/6/2026 with many new scenes & content to add.

Saya has a special arrangement with a dragon. She gets tied to rocks. He gets the gold. They scam villages with fake sacrifices, overcooked rituals, and a convincing act of "damsel in distress." She's no maiden - just a fast-talking harlot with sharp instincts, flexible morals, and a talent for moaning on cue. He's no terrifying beast - just a very old, very gay, very arthritic lizard with a hoard, a temper, and joint pain from shapeshifting too much in the bygone ages. It's all going swimmingly until heroes start showing up. Cults get nosy. Other dragons get ideas. And Saya begins to wonder what exactly she's doing in a world where virtue gets sacrificed and livestock counts as treasure. A sword-and-sandals fantasy with scams, sarcasm, sensuality, and sheep.

What once drew the line has been completely divided. In the Before, it didn't matter what life threw at Dante-Mom's deadbeat boyfriend, daunting college applications, or shifting friendship dynamics-as long as Franklin and Quiggly were by his side. In the After, Dante finds his life flipped upside down. He hasn't spoken a word to Franklin in months, and Quiggly seems to have vanished entirely. As the past bleeds into the present, Dante wonders if things ever could be the same again.

After the Vees' defeat in Hell, Hell and Heaven finally agree to help sinners rehabilitate themselves. But in Heaven, Lute is still furious and isolates herself in Adam's hideout to think about what comes next. What Lute forgets, however, is that she has been very, very naughty... and that the highest spheres of Heaven have decided to rain down upon her... Holy Justice. My original story is in French and was entirely invented by me, I only had it translated into English with the help of ChatGPT, so please be understanding if there are a few small mistakes, thank you for respecting my choice, I do not have an interpreter among my acquaintances.

This story fully 18+ please read it own risk Mahira Batra is a simple girl who only wanted freedom and success in her life. She was happy in her short life but her freedom was under the evil eye of a man who made her his obsession just to get her, All limits were crossed, some got life, some got death, such a decree of love where first hatred ignited the fire and later there was a hope of living and dying.

Bella and Brandon finally found peace in their relationship but it's senior year for Brandon and Mark and soon they'll be going to boot camp-while Bella will be forced to overcome the hardest challenge she's ever encountered. Being a full time college student and a mom. All the while she starts working with the local police station as a tech and search agent, hoping that they will help her find her father and brother-who she now knows are alive. But some ghosts should stay buried. Because people who survive death-usually don't come back the same. This story will be from third person omniscient-four characters will have voices in this third and final book in the S.O.D series. Brandon, Mark, Bella, and Staci are all making a mark this time. For some of them-their marks will leave scars.

The story continues as the mysterious warden of Zig-Zig is eventually informed about Herschel's escape. Against every principle of his precious Dalmicir school, Lyeasrakardsul submits and asks the Knomes for help before finally receiving the dreaded p-wyrd. Herschel is arrested as a chicken thief and brought to the town Stagna where he has been prejudged as a p-e-r-v-e-r-t by popular opinion, and where he will have some of the most significant encounters in his life.

Cosma helps Lord Cowboy Darrell connect with a promising opportunity, forcing him to confront some major changes. Alternate route in which Darrell stays boss. Rewrite/continuation of an older version. May contain traces of silly humor, emotional pain, tragedy, and an excessive amount of free will used to overanalyze cartoon characters. This is for older Teen & Up audiences due to abusive and psychological themes that may be problematic for younger readers. It's way sillier than it looks, lol. I'm just bad at tagging, and the cover turned out much more badass than intended. (: Enjoy!

25-year-old Grace Avery is a stunning woman working as a detective/investigator. Due to her looks, she often gets sexist remarks from her colleagues, seen only as an object of praise and beauty rather than a fellow detective. Annoyed and frustrated, she goes to an old friend for help and assistance, asking for a partner who doesn't care about her looks and has the brains to work with her, to which she learns that there is a person who could help her, the problem lays in the fact that, that person is the very same man who Grace knew and hated in high school, Basil M. House. Will Grace continue to hate his guts? Is Basil the same man whom Grace knew in High school? And will their relationship change? This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Besides being a reimagining, it's also a composite of different mystery stories and movies that I loved, so don't be surprised if some of the cases or puzzles look familiar. Apologies for the grammar mistakes:( Really enjoyed writing this:) This story is also on royal road

(Contains spoilers for all chapters) [Version A] Kris, for the past 2 days, haven't had their autonomy for quite some time. Their soul had been making choices for them that they'd rather have not been made. However, after the Queen's battle, wake up in the overworld, confused and disorientated, but.... with free will, again? They would be happy, but it's cut short when they realize that what they hoped for came with a strange price. A price that they hope they can get rid of soon before things go awry.

11x featured wattpad story. Before everything, it's assumed there was nothing, but what if there was no real difference between the two? Just two extreme philosophies from the first conflict. The planet Huom has been under observation for longer than should technically be possible. The primary watcher, a bitter black hole, is excited to see that there is finally a proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel. Meanwhile, on the planet, in the freezing mountains of Empris, Lyeasrakardsul, the oldest living sorcerer, suffers from devastating nightmares. At the same time, far away in the sandstone desert of Zenon, Herschel, a man filled to the brim with weird ideas is escaping a prison filled with strange old men. What does all this have to do with arsehole Gods, hairy Dwarfs, frustrated Afreets, curious Knomes, lizard-women, and nude Áettar? Perhaps Nothing, perhaps Everything... but why can't it be both?

.Two mafia lords. One coffee shop girl. When the worlds of blood and bullets collide with warm lattes and sunshine smiles, no one leaves unscathed. Elio Romano and Viktor Dragunov rule the underground from opposite sides of the city. Rivals by blood, enemies by oath, their names strike fear into everyone....except her. Shenandoah Hayes, the bubbly barista who somehow stumbles into their world, isn't afraid of them. With her laughter, her clumsy charm, and the way she serves coffee like it's a love letter, she disarms them both. But attraction in the mafia is dangerous, and falling for her might mean war. When innocence collides with sin, who will burn first?

Blood for blood, bite for bite. Who gets to walk away? _____ Harper Moon is a bottom-of-the-barrel vampire and one of the most notorious vandals of the modern west coast. In theory, it could admit him into the most coveted private artistry academy the vampiric species has ever mustered up. But in practice, it could be what serves him on a plate instead. Every other year for their twentieth birthdays, those at the bottom are rounded up and assigned a mentor from the ones at the top, and trained for one year to compete in the largest biennial artistic competition for all vampires to watch. Those that are chosen are debuted as the next generation of artistic machinery for the elite. Those that are not, could be food. In a last-ditch attempt to break out of his lot in life and see himself free, Harper joins the ranks in hopes of working his way out. But talent is not the only thing the games necessitate, and art is not so black and white under a scrutinizing eye. When the competition begins to melt into more than just a game of the talents, but of his very mind, Harper will come to find the world of the arts is a brutal battlefield, that passion harbors a gruesome side, and the intricate politics of what it really means to be free may not be a game he can play alone. It's glamour, greed, gore, and greatness. And nowhere is too far to go just to have a taste. [ONGOING] [#7 in ARTBOOK]

Agashiiee was an assassin mage, known for completing every mission with brutal precision. Cunning, intelligent, and terrifyingly powerful-he was a maniac that few dared to challenge. Almost unstoppable... until one fateful event ended it all. Yet death was not his end. He was reincarnated into a new world-one where mana and magic did not exist. Born into the Xiao family, with twin siblings by his side, something about his new life felt... strange. His parents' faces were blurred, as if hidden behind a veil. From the start, his path was broken. His meridians were shattered at birth, crippling his future. At the age of four, he awakened a system-only for it to seal itself away for a hundred years due to his greed. At seven, he finally awakened his avatar spirit, believing it to be his chance to rise... only to discover it was the lowest of the low, a spirit considered trash among trash. Hopeless, he resigned himself to fate. But that same night, the so-called "trash" spirit revealed a hidden truth. It presented him with a necklace-an inheritance from his past life. A necklace that contained secrets capable of converting Qi into mana. As fragments of his former self began to resurface, his new journey unfolded. In this world of cultivation, where he was never meant to belong... could he rise above all with the forbidden power of magic? Could he dominate cultivators in their own domain? in the world of cultivation? Can he really dominate the world using magic ?

David Frederick was born in a city that never sleeps, where lights flicker to the beat of Vale. David always had hopes and dreams...types of dreams that, he wished he succeeded. But now he doesn't. But even in a world where Huntsman and Huntresses rule and cameras follow every move, and he quickly learns that the flashy city hides secrets darker than any nightclub. Between chasing corporate conspiracies, dodging rival hackers, and keeping his own moral code intact. David must navigate a world where the line between friend and foe is as blurred as the city lights at midnight. Even if it's to protect, to save...or to punish.

this book is not for minors only above 18 can read don't spam hate comment it's just a book on dark romance

Rin Yaegama didn't train for the apocalypse. She didn't min-max a build. She didn't even mean to survive. When the world collapses, and a game-like System descends, survival is supposed to reward strength, strategy, and ruthless efficiency. Rin has none of that. What she does have is terrible luck, worse timing-and a strange tendency to live through things she absolutely shouldn't. Every mistake gives her points. Every near-death experience makes her stronger. Every "accident" forces the System to adapt. As monsters evolve, stats rise, and other survivors chase power, Rin becomes something far more dangerous than a hero: An anomaly. In a world where survival is measured by kills, Rin proves that growth doesn't come from domination-but from endurance, adaptation, and refusing to stay down. This is a LitRPG apocalypse story about failure, persistence, and becoming unstoppable by accident.

Buckle up you sexy motherfuckers, You are in for a crazy ride. #1 - sick humour #12 - dark humor #11 - family guy

Every heart holds a story, and every story leaves a weight behind. The Weight We Carry is a living collection - written in real time, in the middle of survival, burnout, healing, and trying again anyway. These poems come from the spaces between responsibilities: grocery aisles, late nights, applications, shifts, side hustles, and the quiet moments when everything finally catches up. This collection explores the ache of memory, the exhaustion of caring too much, the frustration of broken systems, and the complicated reality of choosing to help when it costs you something. There is grief here, and anger, and dark humor. There is healing, but it is not linear. Hope shows up when it can, but it doesn't pretend to fix everything. Through raw, unfiltered verses, The Weight We Carry holds space for the people who keep going without applause - the helpers, the burned out, the ones trying to build something better while still carrying their own survival on their backs. These poems are for anyone who has felt the weight of the world press down and kept moving anyway. Not because it was easy. But because stopping was never really an option.

Welcome, mortals, night-dwellers, and unsuspecting readers. I am Crimson Bloodthorne, scholar of shadows, veteran brooder, cape enthusiast, and-occasionally-writer. Within these sacred digital pages, I offer you the truth of my life... or at least the most dramatic version of it. These are my memoirs. Each chapter recounts a pivotal moment in my long and unnecessarily theatrical existence-tales of childhood melancholy, cape-related disasters, failed transformations, gothic revelations, and the many catastrophes that forged me into the icon I am today. Prepare yourselves for: emotional monologues tragic backstory fragments questionable decisions and the kind of brooding that would make even the moon say, "Bro, are you okay?" Step carefully, dear reader. For once you enter my world... you may never brood the same way again. - Crimson Bloodthorne Cape Aficionado | Shadow Scholar | Occasional Vampire