my heart stays with you

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Hero;

I look over at her on the passenger seat as she starts to wake up. She is adorable. She always is, but especially in the mornings or during the day when she has taken a nap, and is waking up, like a small child, her voice becomes even more light and small, her beautiful eyes sticking out, questionable, like she is confused, and then the big smile plastered all over that beautiful face like she is happy to be alive.

J: Where are we?

H: Just passed Stamford – 

I touch the screen on the dashboard: "... so 55 more minutes"

Jo;

I nod and sit back

The radio is silently playing and the buildings, houses, streets, trees are passing in a daze. I notice the blanket around me, and smile to myself, he must have covered me when I fell asleep.

There is a strange feeling of being at ease in this car, in the silence with him. Its comfortable and safe. No matter how much turbulence and noise there always seems to be when the two of us start to involve, when I manage to peel it all off and listen closely to the silence when we are around each other I remember why I stay. Why I always stay. Even when I push him away, my heart stays with him.

I look at him, and stare. He notices after a few seconds and looks at me, smiles

H: What?

J: I am hungry

H: You want us to stop and get some food?

I nod. He nods and smiles. I smile. He again starts pressing buttons on the screen on the dashboard to search for restaurants

J: There is a Whole Foods right after we pass the Fairfield sign, about 15 minutes

H: Okay... you wanna eat at Whole Foods?

I nod

J: Or just eat in the car?!

H: It's okay... we can eat there... we are in no rush

I give him a warm smile and turn back to look out the window. The rest of the ride is spent in silence, only the radio playing familiar pop hit songs.

After we went together to the twins birthday in LA last weekend things between us have been nice. At the birthday party with my family he just fitted in. You would never think he was the outsider, that he didn't belong. I guess its because technically he wasn't an outsider. He knew them all very well as he used to be a part of my family. Things werent ackward or weird between us, and the others didn't ask questions. 

He was attentive throughout the whole day, and I was polite back. Things were easy between us. I loved being in the same room as him, I always had. I loved his invasive stare, his loving eyes, his gentle smile, his adoring compliments and teasing. I loved how he made me feel. When I think about it, I have always felt loved by him, and its such a special feeling that someone adores you that much. That he was smart and interesting and everyone enjoyed his presence is another factor I loved. 

The next day he came back to Brandon and Chloes house, after staying the night at his hotel room, and had breakfast with my family before the two of us took a cab to the airport.

We flew back to the east coast together, to Nyc. He stayed in the city the whole week because he had meetings to attend and Madison had a doctors appointment at a private clinic here in the city. We met once for lunch, as we were both in between meetings, and attended a Knicks game, he had tickets and Nate&I went with him. Besides that we have texted every day, just how has your day been texts, cute or/and funny memes or screen shots. It has been slow and nice, which is perfect. I want him here with me but, I still haven't figured out in which way. So I am glad he is here, but not pushing me.

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