falling - the sequel

give me love

Tomorrow morning at the breakfast table,

Alexis: I am gonna go wake up Jo, she loves that lake

Aiden: Ehm Jo actually left this morning

They all turn to look at him, then at Soph

Alexis: What?

Matt: Noo, why?

Alan: Why?

Soph: Yeah, she had to fly to LA

Ed: Yeah. She got a new client so she's overachieving again - teasing her

I watch as Ed and Soph share a look between themselves.

Hero;

I text her later,

"I hope you didn't leave because of me."

"I had to get back to work."

......

I follow Sophie into the kitchen,

H: So she left?

I ask as I stand by the doorframe of the kitchen. Soph stops, turns to face me, then back to the cabinet and taking out a bowl

S: Ahh yeah... you know how she is with her work

H: So it had nothing to do with me?

S: Nooo...

H: Soph...

She turns around, elbows on the counter, looks straight at me

S: Honestly, if I had to guess... probably.

I nod. And bite on my inner lip in concentration.

H: I don't know what's up with her? I don't understand her.

S: Have you guys talked?

H: Yeah... I feel we talk every time we are together, but its just.. its the same conversation going on and on. But its not leading anywhere. I still dont understand what the issue is or what she wants

Soph shrugs with a facial expression that says like sorry buddy I can't help you. I stare at her and sense there is something here I am missing and she wount tell me. 

H: Everything was fine, it was great actually until she found out about Madison. She really can't get past that and I can't for the life of me understand why. 

Sophie nods again. She still has that look like she wants to say something, but keeps her lips closed.

H: I just wish I knew what was going on? Why is this so hard for her? I mean Madison is a big part of my life, clearly, but why is she letting it be hers... it's not like I have asked her to marry me and adopt Madison.

Sophie keeps looking at me, nodding, like its eating at her, but finally says.

S: You know Jo, she always struggles with the big issues on her own.

H: What does that mean?

S: Just that she has to figure things out on her own... In her own pace.

H: I am still blank

Sophie smiles kindly at me, like a mother would do, shrugs and says "I'm sorry. Its not my place to tell. " while handing me two bowls to carry to the others. 

Josephine;

My phone pings with a text from Ed,

They are out on the lake, swimming, crazy people. He sent a picture with the caption "You are really missing out" 

A few minutes later, another. This time of Hero sitting on the deck in a lounge chair, reading a book "Even lover boy is sad. Its very tempting to slip a copy of collide  to him right now" 

I quickly reply him: "I would kill you!!!"

E: "Relax woman. I know."

I lied about having to work. I couldn't stay there. I had made such an ass out of myself last night.

I mean he was right. I can't keep on kissing him and wanting him around me, but not truly committing to him. It must be hurtful for him as well, and that's not fair. And I can't ask him to mourn over me and not look at other girls but, still not give him anything from me. He loves me and I should respect that. I love him too but, I just can't. 

I am comparing him too much to Charles which is becoming toxic the more time we spend together.