The summer is over and college kids are getting ready for a new start. Can Hero forgive Jo and pick up where they left of? Or are they better apart, as friends. The distance, their schedules, the fame and other disturbances truly don't help their ca...
I arrived late last night and texted Brandon that I have checked into a hotel downtown. Since there is gonna be a full house at their place because of the twins birthday, and only family, I really have no place there... anymore, I decided its best to stay at a hotel. Besides I have no idea how Jo will react to me being here, almost chasing her down because of some poems she wrote.
The book signing is at 10AM, and then she is hosting a writing course from 11-12 AM.
I take a taxi to the small bookstore in the Los Feliz neighborhood of LA and arrive 10:20 AM.
It's a nice little bookstore with an authentic and chill vibe. The decor of the place is screaming Jo, it looks just like my apartment in Boston when she spent so much time there that we almost lived together. In the last months of our relationship we did. Its urban and boho, authentic and practical. The real trees inside serving as great showcase shelves for books. The handwritten posters and quotes hanging from the roof on wooden plates and comfortable, worn out, lounge chairs in every corner. The policy is apparently you dont have to buy a book, you can just sit and read, like a mix of a library and book store. There is also an arts and crafts room, a sewing room to design or redesign clothes, a music room with a studio and instruments to jam out new tunes, a game room with shuffleboard, chess and other family friendly boardgames and a cinema with a projector that shows old or foreign movies. It looked like the perfect space for creating.
I see her sitting at a desk in the far end signing books. She is interacting with her "fans" as they come up one by one to get a copy signed. I didn't think it would be such a turnout for a poetry book. She smiles, and thanks them, putting her hand over her heart when doing so. She takes her time with each and every person, not looking at how long the line is growing or minding that she is on a time schedule. I love that about her. She always has time for you. To listen, to talk, to give advice. Accept when she is avoiding things or me... then she runs away.
I watch her for a while. And her smile that has lifted me up from many dark days and places. The same smile that covered her face while dancing to Rihannas "Diamonds" the first time we met. I remember thinking how carefree and into the song she was, how she was dancing and singing at the top of her lungs like it was her show. She was so alive and god damn happy. Obviously every one was, it was New Years, but she was genuinely happy to sing and dance that particular song.
I would learn later that she absolutely loves to do that to songs she loves. It doesn't matter if its around the apartment, in a club or in a department store. When she hears her song she is up dancing and singing, all happy and carefree. Another trait I love about her.
The line ends and she finishes, turning in her chair to talk to, who I assume is, her publisher. I decide to approach her before my nerves take over. I am already overwhelmed by my love for her that if she runs from me this time I dont think I will take it anymore. I dont think I can. I feel like this is the defining moment.
As I take the next steps towards her I tighten the grip on the book in my hand.
She notices me approaching and blinks a few times like trying to process what is going on. A small smile creeping up on her face
Her eyes cast to my hand and I bring up the book, holding it over my chest, lightly smiling. She smiles lightly back at me
"Can I please have this signed?" – I ask
"I am sorry but the line is closed" – her agent/publisher says, interrupting our moment, but our eyes stay on each other
J: Marlon, its okay – she tries pushing her lightly with her hand
M: No, but seriously Jo your writing course is starting in one
J: Oh shit
She suddenly breaks away from the stare and starts foaming around, grabbing her backpack and coffee and water. I stand there feeling foolish. I don't know what I am gonna do or where to go?
She pauses for a second and looks at me, becoming visibly nervous
J: Wanna come? - she asks in a small voice
I look at her, and smile brightly: "Sure"
And we walk to the left of the store, through a wooden door and into a small room with a huge desk in the middle with chairs around it, almost like a conference room, but less stiff. There are people already seated and some are even standing.
We walk inside and I place myself leaning against a wall. She takes center stage and starts talking about writing.
How you can learn structure and then adjust it to being your own. How you can seek your inner creativity. How there is no wrong in writing. As long as there is imagination there is writing and stories to tell.
After an hour, she wraps up. Some of the attendee's come up to her to thank her, to praise her or just to chat a word or two about writing. I stand in the same spot, watching it all. I know she loved and thrived in her job at Nike, but this seems like is her passion. Like she has found her place. She seems so happy and relax and confident talking to these people and about her work. When the last person walks out, she whispers something to her publisher which makes her walk out as well, so its just the two of us.
She looks at me and smiles cutely,
"I am sorry you had to sit through that... I don't know what I was thinking when I asked you to come along"
I chuckle: "Don't worry about it... I learned so much... I might just go home and write a novel"
She laughs: "I would buy it"
H: And I bought this – I lift her book again
She nods and starts biting on her inner lip, as she does when nervous or feeling out of place. She breathes heavy
J: So you found the book?
H: I did. And it was so random you wouldn't believe me if I told you how
She gives me big eyes: "Now you have to tell me" – and smiles
Her phone rings. She motions "its Chloe" before taking it. She talks to her sister about todays birthday. She mentions she is here with me, I guess Chloe answers something to that, that makes Jo look at me and say "Oh" like she is surprised. Maybe Chloe told her that I am invited today as well.
"So how did you find it?" - she asks when hanging up with Chloe
H: It was on Jens coffee table one morning
She looks at me, with furrowed brows : "Oh"
I see that she is already reading too much into this,
H: I was picking up Maddie one morning and it was on her coffee table. I skimmed through while waiting for her to get dressed but, thought nothing much of it. You know me and poetry. Later I took Maddie to a book store for a childs event and there was the book again. I picked it up again. I have no idea why. It was so random. But, this time... or the page I opened felt strangely familiar. As was the next page. And then another and another... And by 40 minutes I had gone through the book. I double or triple checked the cover and then like that wasn't enough, texted Ed and he confirmed.
She nods and there follows a silence between us,
J: So... wha...
H: I love it. I love every page of it. Every poem.
She visibly relaxes and smiles. I smile back at her.
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