falling - the sequel

near you always

I was so nervous. We weren't sitting at the same table or anything but it will still be weird to see him. I am going out of my mind. My heart is throbbing out of my chest, my hands are sweating, I am sweating, a headache is immersing, it's hard to breath. I seriously feel like I am having an anxiety attack.

Ed: Do you need a paper bag?

J: Ha-ha

He smiles, but I still see the concern in his eyes

Ed: But, seriously... you gonna make it through dinner?

J: I am. I just... I have to see him and then I'll get over the worst

He raises an eyebrow and gives me a crooked smile, a mix of amusement and pity

It is Aiden and Sophias engagement party at the Mystic Marriott Hotel and Spa. My parents were attending, their new plus ones, Chloe and Brandon, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends.

Ed is my date to the party. And also, general in life, my right hand. Ever since I moved to Nyc six and a half years ago we have stuck close to one another. He has been such a constant in my life. We know each other since diapers, as our fathers are best friends, and whenever I was in New Haven visiting we hung out all the time. 

Naturally when I came to Nyc I moved in with him. Charlotte lived in a dorm so that was impossible, she crashed many nights at our place, which led for her and Ed to also date, break-up, be friends-with-benefits, date again, break up again and generally be in a constant rollercoaster. I try to stay out of it but, as they are both my best friends it isn't always easy, and they are much alike. As for now they aren't speaking, so I only can hang with one at the time. Today its Ed as his family is anyway invited tonight.

I have noticed Hero is at a table where several of Aidens buddies are, including Finn and Alan who are his collage buddies. Hero seems comfortable with them, he is laughing and joking. 

He looks like the Hero I first met almost eight years ago, the Hero I fell in love with. He also looks leaner and taller. Which is weird because I thought he was very lean and tall while playing, but if possible, he looks better now. 

I debate if I should walk over and say hi, get it over with but, I can't seem to control my nerves and I don't want to appear like this in front of him. Especially since he, from my distance, looks so cool, calm and laidback, totally indifferent to searching for me in the crowded ballroom turned dining area, as I have for him.

I need some food and wine in my system before I face him. And I seriously need to enjoy this lavishing engagement party that my brother and his best Sophia have set up.

I am sitting at the table with Aiden and Soph, our parents, her parents, the best-man Matt + gf Alexis and maid of honor Emma + husband Andrew, Brandon and Chloe, me+Ed and Sophias brother, Jack + wife, Gemma.

After things have settled and we have been served the pre course, Aiden and Sophia do a small speech and toast,  

I lift my glass and as I turn around me I don't know if I intentionally look his way or not, probably the first as I have by now noticed where he is sitting, we make eye contact.

He smiles when he sees me, I smile back, a full smile that reach both our eyes, we lift our glasses even higher like a toast only to each other and make a nod with the head. And drink up.

Puh first "interaction" over, maybe the rest will be easier now I think to myself

Throughout dinner I manage to eat and down three glasses of champagne. The company at our table is pretty great so I am engaging with them and have a blast.

After dinner, the music starts playing, there is dancing and mingeling... there are two rooms alongside a terrace we can be and mingle in. One is served as a bar and quiet talking space, while the other one is more of a ballroom with DJ and music. The terrace is for the smokers and people just having a breather.

I am polite and mingle with family and family friends I haven't seen for a while, after thirty minutes of that and childhood stories of their memories of me I excuse myself. Charlotte is on a date and is reporting to me from the bathroom of a Nyc restaurant. I decide to step out on the terrace as the bathroom is filled with girls chatting loudly.

When I step outside I hear a familiar voice from where one of the huge statues are placed, he has his back turned to me. I stop in my tracks, but I recognize that back and those shoulders I have snuggled up against and have held me so many times, from miles away.

H: Ok... I see you on Tuesday baby

He suddenly turns around, like he notices my presence, and flashes a knowing smile. This gesture gives me bravery to continue outside and towards him with a shy smile plastered on my face

H: I love you... Bye - He turns to me, giving me his full attention as he hangs up

H: Hi – his eyes are dancing in amusement as he stretches his arms for a hug

J: Hey – and join in on the hug that feels like it stretches for minutes on, it also feels strangely good and warm, like home

H: You okay? You look lost? - he asks as we part

J: Yeah... I just witnessed my aunt dancing to Blurred Lines and had to bolt out of there - I make up, not wanting to address the real reason I look lost since he seems totally cool and chill about seeing me again, while my emotions are flying all over the place

He laughs hard, his head falling back in laughter

H: What do you mean... she got the moves - he jokes

I smile wide: "She got them alright... I just don't want to witness them"

He chuckles

H: But... what a cool party... they really nailed it... everything, the music, the location, the food was over the roof and have you tried the champagne

J: I had three glasses

H: It was so smooth, like water

J: A little better than water

H: Just a little, and it gave definitely more buzz than water

I laugh

J: But, yeah the party is great... but I mean of course, its Aiden and Soph... the pros at details and organization, or mostly Soph tho - I smile. 

He smiles as well, I sense his eyes studying me

H: Its good to see you Jo

J: You too, Tiffin

He smiles his charming smile, adjusts his tie. I smile back. This is good. The fences are down. This is a well-known territory now.

H: How are you? How have you been?

J: I am good. I've been good. Surprised to see you here...

H: You didn't know I was coming?

J: No, no I did. But, not until like a week ago... I didn't know you were hanging out or that you were back here on the east coast.

H: Yeah, came like a month ago and we have always gotten along, you remember

J: I do - I say smiling - "How is Boston? I heard you were doing good?"

H: Yeah. So far so good. They let me do things my way so...

J: And that goes well?

He smiles again widely: "That goes very well. You should come out to a game and see for yourself"

J: Yeah, Sure. I will. 

H: And you? I heard you are exceling at Nike?

J: Yes. Finally, they wanted me

H: They are a bit slow... - he smiles, and I return the gesture.

X: Hey Jo... Aiden wants you inside for pictures.

J: Oh... coming

I turn back to him: "I'll see you later?"

H: Save me a dance?

I smile widely: "Sure"