falling - the sequel

love the way you lie

After flirty texting with Hero for twenty minutes I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. 

Today on my social agenda for this weekend in Boston (as Hero is teasing me about) is, I am spending the day with Hannah and her daughter Ava, who is also my goddaughter. 

Hannah Stevens is from New Haven and lived a few houses from dads house. She was in the group of friends that I hanged out with on my annual summers in New Haven. We are the same age and share the same interests and much of the same history. We were the wild cats in our teens and young adult years even when living in different continents. She dropped out of HS and moved to Boston with a ,equivalent to Dylan, boyfriend, and cut ties to her friends which meant I also lost touch with her. 

But when I moved to Nyc and was visiting Hero a weekend in Boston she reached out, having seen on IG that I was in the city. We grabbed coffee which lasted seven hours. Hero even called being worried about me haha. We just instantly clicked, and opened up to each other about everything with a good dash of sarcastic humor. And since then have grabbed many coffees, sheared laughters and tears as well as good talks, travels and secrets. She is a single mother to six year old Ava who I have the honor of being godmother to. 

We meet at cafe for lunch, or breakfast for some, before heading to the theatre where Ava will perform with her theater company. I miss the little munchnkin almost as much as she misses me, I am aunt Jo to her, and the sound of that makes my heart melt. Hannah tells me subtly about a guy she is casually seeing, and I fill her on the latest with Hero. 

Later at the theatre, Hannah and I are sitting in the audience where she fills me more on the latest with Ava, things she couldn't say in front of her. That little lady is too smart for her own good, she catches on to everything, there is no point in even trying to lie or fool her. 

A quick sweep over the theater I spot Hero at a lower row on our left, I have to do a double take but, my instinct gets confirmed when I notice Alyssa and Pierre next to him. I am surprised. He said he was gonna see them, but didnt mention anything about their children being in a play or going to a theater. I shoot him a text while telling Hannah about it. Less then a minute later he looks up and we wave, he smiles and waves back. As the play is about to start we keep in our seats but, I receive a text.

"Meet in the foyer afterwords?" he writes, I respond a quick thumbs up and put my phone on silent and in my purse as the lights fade out and the curtain goes up.

An hour after all is done and the applause has worn out, we start moving towards the foyer. We spot them already waiting when we reach them. We all greet and hug by turn. The two of us linger a little longer in each others arms, he even manages to steal a kiss into my hair while holding me. Luckily when we part, Hannah is in conversation with Pierre and Alyssa, and doesn't mind us. 

H: Surprised to see you here

J: Likewise

H: What...?

J: I told you I was spending time with Hannah and Ava and going to see a play.

H: Oh right. I thought you meant the three of you are seeing a play. 

J: No, she is in the play

H: Right. Who was she?

J: The parrot

H: Wow a leading role

I hit his arm, and he flinches back smiling as wide as I am

J: Why are you here?

"Daddy, daddy" I hear a childs voice somewhere near me, behind me. But my back is to the voice and I am facing Hero, not caring that much about it. But as I am facing Hero I see his smile go from me to behind me, to below me as he sinks to his knees to catch the little girls arms that are now stretching to be picked up.

After that everything is a blur. Or a nightmare. WHAT IS GOING ON?

I dont know how long I stand there or when Ava comes. But I dont understand anything at the same time understand more than enough. My face is probably of confusion as his is one of compassion. I meet the little girls mother too, J... something and her boyfriend.  For the life of me if I met them tomorrow, I wouldn't recognize them or remember their names. It all floats like a dazed dream.

How such a happy and fulfilled moment can be replaced by this deep hurt in such a short time amazes me. 

That evening after dinner, Hannah, Ava and I are playing UNO when he texts

H: "Hi. Is everything alright? You kind of just disappeared on me. I know I have so much to explain."

J: "I am with Hannah and Ava"

H: "Are you coming tomorrow?"

I dont respond anymore and just shut my phone of, I dont need it. If there is any emergencies I have my work phone and all my important people know I am at Hannahs or have my work number as well. 

The next day I travel back to Nyc. Screw this. I have to get out of here. Its too much. The whole short lived romance has been an illusion. Shit asså. How come we always get involved and its instantly eruption. We can never just have a clean break, not even five years later, five years older. Its still the same, different obstacles and problems but, all the same.

I turn my phone back on as my plane ticket is on there, and instantly a text from him lights up,

 "I'm sorry to hear you left back to Nyc. Jo, we have to talk about this. I can't just leave it be now. Please call me."