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A/N: Song used: "In the Mourning" by Paramore (use the studio version, if you can find it)


I still continued my therapy sessions with Bryce, and still kept in contact with Bree. Bree squealed in happiness when she met Edward through Skype one night.

One Sunday, Bree invited me to her church. I wasn't religious, but I found comfort in the community. It was like a safe haven that I never knew I needed, until then. I brought home a Bible given from Bree's pastor and read it in 2 days.


[Bold: Edward; Italics: Bella; Bold Italics: Both]

You escaped like a runaway train

Off the tracks and down again

And my heart's beating like a steam boat tugging all your burdens

On my shoulders

In the mourning I'll rise

In the mourning I'll let you die

In the mourning all my worries.

Now there's nothing but time that's wasted

And words that have no backbone

And now it seems like the whole world's waiting

Can you hear the echoes fading?

In the mourning I'll rise

In the mourning I'll let you die

In the mourning all my sorries.

And it takes all my strength not to dig you up

From the ground in which you lay

The biggest part of me

You were the greatest thing

And now you're just a memory

To let go of.

In the mourning I'll rise

In the mourning I'll let you die

In the mourning all my sorries.


I stepped out of the recording booth with Edward, acoustic guitar in hand. Edward pulled me in close, and I wrapped my arms around his tightly. I held in my tears, but an occasional sniffle made him pull away. He wiped my eyes with his thumbs and kissed my forehead.

Kate snaked her way around us, with her bass in hand. "Hey, sweetie, you ok?" she asked me.

I nodded and faced her, rubbing my eyes. "Yeah, just needed to let Jake go, that's all."

Kate nodded, "Ohh, so this song was about...." She trailed off and hugged me.

I smiled as her lemon-scented, blonde hair filled my nose. I laid my head on her shoulder.

"He's gone, now. You don't have to live in fear anymore," she said.

I sniffled again, "I know. I know."


We released "In the Mourning" as a promo single, and all of our fans were really happy to hear new music from us again. I was just happy to let out some past feelings.

We met with our booking manager, James, to arrange a small tour around Seattle. We wouldn't play anywhere too huge, just small, intimate spots that would get us more comfortable. Meanwhile, we were beginning the process of writing our second studio album. Now that I was feeling a lot better about myself, it wasn't going to be heavily influenced by depressing lyrics and dark music.

Edward's demeanor was dropping by the second. When he wasn't snapping at his family, he was snapping at me. And after he'd apologize ten-million times, he'd hug me and sob at how much he loved me. I'd just sigh, roll my eyes, and tell him I loved him too. What was going on with him? Was it the trial? Was it the fact that I wanted a break from him?

One afternoon, we and the band were discussing album names at Edward's house, when Kate stood up.

"Ok, Edward, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Edward, slumped in the sofa next to me, looked up sullenly, and asked, "What?"

"You've been moody ever since the trial and we want to know what's up. No, strike that, you've been moody since Bella got back from treatment. What's up? You're acting the same way like she did."

"No I'm not." Edward sighed.

"Yes you are. I can see it in your eyes." Kate then kneeled across from him. "Talk to us, Edward."

He shifted in his seat and shook his head. "There's nothing to talk about." He mumbled.

"Edward..." I started, "It's ok to miss him."

"No, it's not," he said.

"Yes, it is," I put a hand on his leg.

"No it's not!" he stood up, "No it's not! No it's not! He hurt you, Bella! Remember? He hurt you, and he hurt me too! By cheating and lying and thinking he can get away with shit! It's not fair! Why should I have to miss him! I shouldn't miss him, considering he was my best friend for so long. But...I do." His eyes welled up with tears.

I looked up at Kate; her eyes were teary, too. She stood up and tried to take Edward's hands but he pulled away.

"No, just, don't touch me! Just don't!" He ran upstairs to his room.

"I'll go talk to him," I said, and walked upstairs.

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