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A/N: Here's more of Spotlight. So I decided not to do an EPOV, because it would slow down the process of the story. So we will continue with Bella's POV, and you'll be left imagining Edward's from the last chapter. I'm mean, I know! Lol

Song mentioned: "Franklin" by Paramore

"Long Live" by Taylor Swift

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight, just like to mess with Stephenie Meyer's characters.


-April 2008-

We were filming our music video for our second single, "Franklin", and I was still feeling...off.

I scratched my sprained right wrist in my lap as I sat in a chair offset, watching Edward lip-sync to his lyrics, the camera panning across his gorgeous face. My left wrist wasn't broken, thank God, but I couldn't play or do much, so Edward agreed to take over on rhythm guitar until I was healed.

The video was set in a road, where cars were passing on both lanes. Edward was walking on the left side, watching the cars pass by. I was supposed to walk on the other side of the street, watching the cars pass by, as well, but Director X, our director, wanted to shoot Edward's parts first.

The point of this video was to be hopeful to go back home after missing it for so long. But when we finally see a sign of going back, we get hit with a gust of wind, until we realize we can't ever go back home. Which was completely relevant to how I was feeling recently.

The band was going to have a performance scene again for this song, at the end, but we wanted to shoot the first half of the video today.

I was feeling almost every emotion inside, and it was like my heart would just explode if someone said the wrong thing. I felt sad, scared, jumping out of my skin every second. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't without Rose and Alice setting up their damned pity parties. I couldn't even look at Edward, let alone see him. I couldn't deal with the pain in his eyes. I was surprised at how calm he was today during our shoot.

When we finished today's work, I just went back to my trailer to change. Before I came back out, I heard voices outside my trailer.

"How is she doing?" Kate whispered worriedly.

"She's," Edward sighed deeply, and I could imagine him running his hands through his hair, "I don't know. We haven't had a chance to talk."

"You should! When we're here doing all of this, you should be helping her!" Kate hissed.

"Hey, I'm hanging on by a thread here! I'm so fucking furious at what he did to her, that anything I say will make her even more upset than she already is," Edward hissed back.

How did they know how I felt? They didn't know! They didn't know anything! I've been blowing my brains out just trying to find a reason to get up every morning. Every night was an inner battle not to slit my wrists, or tear my own hair out!

Then go tell them that! You need to tell them that!

Oh no, you're back?

Yes, I'm back! And you need to open your damn mouth and get some help.

I don't need help! I'm fine—

Don't you dare say 'fine'. You are anything but fine!


-May 2008-

While the hype of "Franklin" died down a bit, we released our third one, "Long Live", which made me cry uncontrollably. Not only was it bringing back memories of high school, but it reminded me of how much I missed my best girlfriend.


Since it happened, she'd been trying to contact me; tweets, texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, everything. Even talking to Edward. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell her how much in pain I was in.

I could barely eat. I was rapidly losing weight, and I tried covering it up by wearing baggy clothes, and only eating when people were around, but I could tell everyone knew.

Sleeping was a nightmare. I thrashed and tossed and turned until I couldn't anymore, my thoughts just twisting and turning; I thought I was losing my mind.

One stormy night, I screamed so much that Rose had to call Edward and Carlisle just to get me to calm down.

"Bella, Bella, it's ok," Edward had shook me.

"No, no no, don't! Get off!" I'd cried, thrashing, not seeing him.

"It's me! It's me!" he'd yelled.

I stopped when I heard him. "Edward?" I'd whispered, my hair covering my face.

"Yeah..." he'd pushed my hair back gently.

I had looked into his deep, green eyes, and just lost it. My wall of emotions tumbled down and I crawled into his arms, sobbing.

He shushed me quietly, rocking me from side to side on my bed. He kept telling me it was going to be ok, that he was here. But it wouldn't be ok. It wouldn't. It couldn't.

But I had to push it back somehow. I had to make it ok so we could be together again.

Edward had fallen asleep next to me the next morning, and I made him go home. I'd made him promise not to tell anyone else about my freakout. He reluctantly did, kissed my forehead and left.

Since that night, I hadn't been able to really talk to Edward because it would just turn into a discussion on me, and I just wanted everyone to shut up about me, and focus on our career!

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