312 25 1


He set me on my feet, but didn't let me go. I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed him in. I felt his hand smooth out my short hair. "Your hair's shorter." He said.

I smiled and pulled back to see his face. "Yeah, that's why I cut it, genius."

He smiled lovingly and tucked my hair behind my ear. "It's beautiful, and so are you."

I smiled, he kissed me.

"Hey, we want a turn with her, if you don't mind!" Emmett shouted and we stopped. I blushed a bright red. Edward and I, holding hands, walked over to everyone else, while Bill took out my suitcases. I got hugs and kisses on my cheeks.

We moved to the inside of the house, where it was quieter.


~a few days later~

More media outlets found out about my homecoming, and I reactivated my Twitter account. Dozens upon dozens of messages sent to me came popping up, and I cried happily of gratitude towards them.

"Wow..." I sniffled in my Iphone one day at my house.

"Yeah," Edward slid his arm on my shoulders. "Everyone missed you when you were gone." He said.

"But I wasn't gone, just stepped out, for 6 months," I smiled. "And I saw the videos you made. They were really sweet, thank you."

He drew me in closer and kissed my hair. "Anything for you." He leaned over and cupped my face to kiss me deeply. Breathless, I knew I had to stop. I didn't want to rush anything in this relationship like before. I wanted to take my time while I was still in recovery.

"Edward, wait." I pulled back, stepping out of his arms.

"What's wrong?" Concern filled his face. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no, it's just, I want us to just, take this slow, you know?" I tried, and he looked a bit confused. "I don't want us to rush into anything, with this." I gestured between us. "I just got out of treatment, and I'm still focusing on myself. I still want to be with you, just on a really, really, slow level."

"I still don't understand," Edward spoke slowly.

"I still want this," I laced my hands with his. "I love you. But I want to focus more on myself for a while."

He sighed and looked into my eyes. He still looked confused. "So, we're on a break?"

"A small one. But yeah."

He looked down at our laced hands. "You're not....leaving the band, are you? Because that would kill me. That's would really kill me—" His voice shook at the end.

"Noo, no, I'm not leaving the band! Why, you kicking me out?"

He looked up quickly. "No! I just thought that since you wanted time for yourself...."

"Yeah, I want more time, but I don't want to leave the band. I just got home!" Tears sprung in my eyes, and I looked away. "I really missed you."

"So why do you want time apart?!"

"Why are you getting mad at me? I told you why!"

"Well, you're not good at explaining it!"

"Because I don't want a boyfriend right now!" I screamed at him.

Edward's face turned blank. He let go of my hand and stormed out. The slammed door made the first of my tears fall onto the floor.


Edward and I didn't speak for months.

Everyone else asked us if everything was ok, but we didn't answer.

Rose held me close when she'd found me sobbing on the kitchen floor after Edward had left. She'd asked me what happened but I couldn't talk about it because it didn't register in my brain yet.

And it wasn't like Edward and I had broken up, but it seemed like it was. We'd fought before, but not like this. This was a real test for us, and I hated it.

What made matters even more difficult was that we'd gotten the trial date against Jake. When Edward found out, he started getting angrier. I understood the blame he put on Jake for what he did to me, but he really was starting to scare me.

It surprised me that he came to the first day of the trial, but not really.

The whole week of the trial was a blur, but I was glad that in the end, Jake would serve in jail for 5 years.

I let go of the huge breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Edward hugged me for a long time when we got home with the rest of our family.

"I'm so sorry," he cried in my shoulder. "I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok, and you're not an idiot. You're emotional, but you're not an idiot." I smiled through my tears.

He snickered and pulled away a bit. "If you want a break, you can have it. I'll wait for you."

"If you want to see other people—"

"No, I only want you." He took my fingers and kissed them.


After the trial, I started getting a lot better around other people. Before, when I'd just gotten out of treatment, I'd get self-conscious when fans would ask us for a picture or an autograph. Now, I was more comfortable with fans walking up to me to talk to me. And they were so shy! Edward had gotten a little shy around fans, but only to make sure I was ok.

I still continued my therapy sessions with Bryce, and still kept in contact with Bree. Bree squealed in happiness when she met Edward through Skype one night.

One Sunday, Bree invited me to her church. I wasn't religious, but I found comfort in the community. It was like a safe haven that I never knew I needed, until then. I brought home a Bible given from Bree's pastor and read it in 2 days.

The Spotlight is On!Where stories live. Discover now