The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

127. It's Not Fine (Part 2)

"Joy, please let me out." "Not until you talk to me." "Why do you want to know so bad? I'm fine." "You want to know why? You're not fine." You're about to say something else in response, but something stops you. You sigh, "Please... Just let me out..." Joy sighs. She turns around, walking over to the same desk as before, not releasing the spell on the door she had cast. Tears well up in your eye again as you walk over to the desk you broke and sit in the chair belonging to it. You look up at her, with a feeling of shame deep within you. Joy takes a deep breath and asks, "So what is wrong?" "What... Isn't wrong? My mom yelled at Scott, she forbids me from doing anything anymore, she found out that Scott and I are dating, she accused him of raping me, she tells me that all my friends are manipulating me. And then there's the normal stuff, like I feel inadequate and weak, I generally don't want to do anything anymore, I'm not eating, I'm barely sleeping, and I feel like I can't even talk about any of it with Scott, because he already has plenty of his own problems and inner demons to deal with, so I don't want to burden him further by creating more stress for him. Now I'm dealing with other things that are generally concerning, like my eye, my arms, everything." You lift up your sleeve, revealing the arm that you never cut. "I didn't do this, and I just... I'm scared..."

You start crying again and reach up to wipe the tears away. Joy hands you a tissue, which you take to wipe your eye and blow your nose. "Better?" She asks. You blush from embarrassment and nod your head, "Yeah..." She leans forward on the desk, resting her head in the palm of her hand. She smiles, "Told you so." "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize. I get it. It can be hard to let people into your head. Into your thought processes. I used to be the same way. Afraid of letting my girls see my flaws and insecurities, afraid they would judge me. But as soon as I started talking about things, I felt a lot better. They love me, and I love them. We're basically sisters at this point. No matter what keeps us down, we're always there for each other. And I've known Scott long enough to tell you that he's that way with everyone. And if he loves you as much as he says, he'll definitely be the same for you, and a lot more." You look up at her, still feeling a bit anxious. "B-But... What if it's too much for him?" She sighs, "Listen, it won't be too much for him. He's not just some random side character who can only take so much from you. He's a main character of your story." "Main character? My story? What are you talking about?" She sighs again, "For me, it's literal. But for you, I thought it would be a nice metaphor. Just think of your life like a TV show, or a book." "What would that book or show be called." She lets out the loudest sigh of all, "I don't know! The Experiences That Guide Us? Where Happiness Is Born? Our Inner Demons? Whatever the case is, Scott's a part of that story, he's a main character in that story, and he's not going to let you down!" You lightly smile to yourself, finding it a little comical that Joy is so passionate on making you feel better. She smiles and chuckles back, "Heh, there we go. There's a happy smile." After another moment of silence, Joy gets up and waves her wand. "C'mon, let's go to the nurse's office. See if we can't do something about your eye."

As you and Joy walk through the halls, the bell rings, and the hall starts filling up with students. You start feeling more tense, looking further at the ground the louder the chatter gets. You hear Hope say, "Hey, Joy! Where have you... Are they okay?" Joy answers, "Everything is fine. Just tell Coach that we'll be a little late." "O-Okay." You both keep walking down the hall, and suddenly, Joy says, "Whoa there, big guy. You're coming with us." You look at who she's talking to, and suddenly turn your head away after your eye meets Scott's. He tries to refuse, saying, "But Joy... I think (Y/N) is mad at me right-" He suddenly stops talking as you grab a firm hold on his hand. You rub his hand between your palm and thumb, as if asking him to come along with the two of you. He nods, understanding the message.

You three make it to the nurse's office, and Joy greets her happily. "Hello, Nurse Chupacabra. My friend here is... In trouble. They need something to heal their eye, and our normal methods aren't working." Nurse Chupacabra walks up to you, leaning in to get a closer look at your eye. She carefully removes the gauze, but you still can't open your eye. Scott and Joy both let out a small gasp. The nurse says, "Joy, honey, could you grab me a wet paper towel. It seems as though blood has dried the eye shut." Joy follows her instructions, and the nurse then dabs the towel on your eye, slowly cleaning the blood off. Once you finally open your eye again, she holds it open, shining a light on it to inspect your eye. She thinks aloud, " Hmm, I'm not seeing any kind of physical injury... Is this a problem anywhere else?" You slowly and hesitantly lift your sleeves, exposing your cut arm, and your bandaged arm. She also asks, "What kind of a monster are you?" You answer, "I-I'm a human/demon hybrid." "What kind of demon?" "A... Strong one? I'm sorry, I'm not sure." "Have you been under any extreme inner turmoil lately?" Your eyes shyly dart from the nurse, to Joy, to Scott. You quietly answer, "Y-Yes." "Are you... Allowing yourself to be healed?" You think to yourself for a moment. You hesitantly answer, "I want to be healed. So, I guess so." "Wanting to be healed is different than feeling as though you're deserving." She looks directly at you as you look down to the floor in shame. She sighs and continues, "Well, I can whip you up a potion to heal your arm, but I don't know if it'll help. We'll see. You two can go back to class, I'll write you both slips. Joy says, "I'll go, but I think it would be best if Scott stayed here." The nurse sighs, "Alright, if you say so. You two wait here, Joy, you head back to class." She writes Joy a note, and Joy leaves. The nurse then heads into the back.

Another moment of awkward silence ensues, nothing in the room making a single sound. That is, until your stomach growls again, due to your lack of eating anything in the past few days. Scott says, "Tell me the truth. Have you really been eating?" You look over at him, but he's not looking at you. "I.. I'm sorry, no." "Will I.. Make it worse? By telling you to eat? By trying to help you?" "No, you won't." "Then.. Why didn't you tell me?" "Because I'm a coward." He says nothing after that. You can't help but ask, "Are you mad?" He sniffles. "No, I just.. I miss you. I know we see eachother every day, but I still miss you. I wanna see you smile, and be happy, but I'm not able to do that for you." "Of course you are. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's just.. You can't help if I don't let you." You reach over and grab his hand. He tenses, and then looks down at your hands. He looks at you, and you ask, "Please, help me." He tightly hugs you, like he always does. It's as comforting as always, if not more so. You pull away enough so that your face to face, and you rest your foreheads on eachother. You hear his voice, but it doesn't sound like he's speaking. 'I hope I can help. I want to help. I love you, (Y/N). Really.' You smile and reply, "I love you too, Scott." He pulls back, "H-How did you..." He's cut off though, as Nurse Chupacabra comes back out, presenting a pink, bubbly potion to you. She gives it to you, and you drink it. It tastes like Nyquil. She says, "Give the potion about an hour to take effect, and if it doesn't work, come back to me." You nod, and she writes you and Scott a pass, and you both go to gym.

(A/N): I've been wanting to change the title of this story for a while now, since I've spent so much time and effort writing it. I thought about a title for a long time, and I finally came up with one that I like a lot! I hope you guys do too!