The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

64. What to Write

The weekend comes and goes, and Monday arrives. There's a little less than a week left until Valentine's Day, and it really shows. As it turns out, a lot of people start freaking out about the upcoming day, just not as much as your four friends. Business at Valerie's booth has been booming, and she seems to be charging people 8 times the price of everything instead of just 5. Amongst the crowd, you see Vicky step out, holding the book on orgy etiquette. She smiles as she walks down the hall, clearly happy that she got it. Once the first bell rings, allowing people to go to their lockers, Valerie places a sign to show that it's closed until later. As you root around in your locker, she walks up next to you. She asks, "Hey stranger, what happened last week? You just walked away." You just shrug your shoulders, not feeling like answering. She says, "Ah well, here." She hands you a piece of blank paper, scratching the back of your head in the process. She adds, "This is that card to write on. I still want you to have it. Just give to me at some point and tell me which color rose ya want, K?" She gives a friendly wink and walks away. Obviously, you're going to write something to Scott, but you're not sure what exactly that is yet. It's gotta be short and sweet, and not be too wordy. You put the card away and head to class.

Later that day, once you get home, you sit down on your bed, thinking about the note. As you think about what to write, you realize you've still got nothing. Scott means so much to you, but you don't know how to put it into words. Telling him you love him is too simple, but you can't write him a whole essay, or else he won't be able to read all of it. You could list off all the things that make him special, but that would still be too long. As you think about every possibility, you begin to get a headache. It's so frustrating to feel a certain way about something or someone, and not even be able to express that feeling because it's too complicated. You rest your head in the palms of your hands. You wish you were able to be more vulnerable, to allow all of your feelings to flood out, but you can't. You're scared of being vulnerable, and being seen as weak. You end up spending the rest of the night trying to figure out what to write, and before you know it, you've woken up to the next day.

As you're walking into the building, you see Vicky and Polly talking to Vera, presumably about the orgy. Vera seems to be incredibly uninterested, but she's powering through it like a champ. You arrive at your locker to be once again scouted by Valerie. She says, "Yo. Have you written your note yet? You gotta turn it in before school ends tomorrow, so I just wanna ask." You tell her, "N-No, not yet." "Ah, well, let me know when you are." As she walks away, you struggle to hold in your tears. For some reason, this thing is really getting to you. You're fairly certain that if you didn't write him one, he wouldn't mind, but for some reason, you mind a whole lot. As the day passes on, you continue to think about what you want to write. You're at your locker, packing to go home, and the card is in your hand. You stare at it's blank sides, trying to collect your thoughts. You furrow your eyebrows in frustration as nothing still comes to mind.

The next day, everything is normal up until lunch. You are running a little late to lunch, because your last class had a substitute teacher, and she had no idea what she was doing. Once you enter the cafeteria, you immediately notice an issue. You see Vicky sitting with Damien and Polly, and you see Amira sitting with Vera and Zoe. You quickly look around the cafeteria to see where Brian and Oz ended up. You find Brian sitting with the Wolfpack, and they seem to be licking his face for some reason? You also notice Scott is not with them either. You scan the room and realize you can't find either of them anywhere. You scan the room for a place to sit, and there does seem to be a table in the corner of the room, unoccupied by anyone. You take your seat there, to meet someone you've never seen before. The man seems to notice you, and he chews more slowly. He's all grey, from head to toe, he has no eyes, and the only clothes he's wearing is his underwear, and a hat that says, "Narrator." His muscled body almost rivals Scott's, and if his choice of so few clothes is meant to turn people on, it's lowkey kind of working. To add to his hotness, he has the deepest, sexiest voice you've ever heard. "Hello there. Not that I don't enjoy the company but, what are you doing here?" You feel your face heat up as you say, "U-Um, I didn't h-have anywhere else t-to sit so.. I just s-sat here." He smiles, "Ah, well. Feel free to sit here whenever you like." You and The Narrator strike up a conversation, and you learn a lot about him. This seems completely irrelevant to everything that's been going on, but this nice conversation allows you to take your mind off of things. At some point you mention to him your issue about the Valentine's Day card. He tells you, "I know just about everything about everything that happens here, so I have a really good idea about how everyone behaves too. Just talk to Scott, he won't mind." He smiles and the dismissal bell rings. He gets up and leaves, but you stick around for another minute. 'He won't mind.' Yeah, you know that. You know for a fact that he wont mind, so why is it so hard for you to accept that? Thoughts swirl within your mind, giving you feelings of anger and sadness. You lightly punch the table in frustration, only to make it snap in half. You leave before you can get into any trouble.