Traveler - Avengers Soulmate

Denial

"Yeah, they've come a long way." At my reply Darcy stared at me, still sipping her expensive glass of wine.

"What?" I asked as she didn't say anything. She just shook her head and shrugged.

"It was mostly thanks to you," She said, "From what Thor tells me, you've basically assumed the Avengers mom position." I chuckled and shook my head.

"I'm like a glorified secretary." Honestly, my job was mostly running around after them to make sure they had eaten and slept that day. Mostly Tony. "I doubt I've influenced them that much."

Darcy hummed but didn't say anything, though I could tell she didn't believe what I had said. I know that things were very different than they should have been, but they were better. Everybody was happier and if I had anything to do with it, they would continue to be happier. It was just because it was a different universe, this wasn't the MCU.

It was a scary thought to think that I had affected them so much, I wanted to be their friend, but should I be rewriting their fates? And could it even be considered rewriting, after all I'm here for a reason right? It's not interfering if I was meant to be here, this was my home now. They were my friends and I wanted them to be happy, to continue meeting up for wine and cheese. For us to watch corny B-rated movies while fighting over a bowl of popcorn.

I wanted to wake up and see Steve making pancakes. To see Tony grumble as he drank the entire coffee pot. To complain about whatever reality TV show me and Loki were watching that day.

It had been an ongoing battle between myself over how much I should change and the morality of changing the future. I still had no answers even a year later after thinking all of this, but didn't I already make my choice? No matter how much I argued with myself I still continued to intervene and push for them to be more of a family. And I was already planning to die to ensure that they all lived.

* * *

That night I found myself in the living room, sitting on the couch as I watched the moon. I had been unable to fall asleep, so I decided to dramatize my life instead. So there I was, silently watching the moon, wondering how this helped people fall asleep in the movies.

"It is rare to see you awake at this time, Lady Aliana." I smiled at Thor as he walked into the room, I knew he had been there but he was oddly quiet and had taken some time to approach me.

"Thor," I greeted, "I thought you were sleeping." Thor sat down next to me on the couch and stared up at the moon with me.

"I was unable to sleep tonight," Thor replied, "I decided to come down for a snack."

Nodding, I passed over the box of Cheez-Its I had next to me. He thanked me for it and started eating it. It was quiet for a while, neither of us speaking. Most would think that Thor was boisterous and always loud, but I knew that he could be very contemplative and a great companion when you needed to think. He was nonjudgmental, loyal and a man I was happy to call a close friend.

"Ask me," I finally said, "I know you want to." I had no idea what he wanted to ask me, but I knew that for days now he had been staring at me with a questioning look in his eyes. To be quite honest, it was starting to bother me.

"You always seem to know everything, Aliana." I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue, "You are very close with my brothers and his mates. Every time I come over, I see you four together and you all barely separate."

Looking over at him, I saw that he wasn't looking at me, but still looking at the moon. Dramatic, I approve. "Where are you going with this Thor?"

Thor finally looked at me, his blue eyes intense. "They are very protective of you, Aliana. The way they look at you, the way my brother looks at you..." Thor trailed off, shaking his head, "Aliana, you must be aware of how they treat you. They love you."

"I love them too," I answered, "I love all of you."

Thor shook his head, "I do not know why you are trying to deny this. You know well what I mean." I had no doubt that he wasn't playing, his eyes told me so. I groaned and shook my head.

"What do you want me to do about it, Thor?" I asked, "You know they have other mates out there. I'm sure this is just an infatuation, mistaking their longing for their mates with affection for me."

Thor said nothing for a while then he reached out and hugged me. "Do not misunderstand me Aliana, I do not want you to get hurt, even if it's my brother I will not stand for it. But I know my brother, I am not sure even he is aware of how much he values you. I know you have no mate, Aliana and you have no need for one. But, I just wanted to let you know that if you do choose to be with them, we will all support you." Thor let me go and leaned back, still holding onto my shoulders, "You have been good for then, for us. Whatever you decide to do, know that you have someone on your side, Aliana."

As I sat there, staring at Thor as he told me he was aware that they loved me I really hoped he meant his words at that moment. Because I knew what I had decided and I knew that it would hurt them.

I had to leave.