Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

out of the bubble

"Are you feeling better?" Selena asks her and go to sit close to the plastic wall and kenzie sits up more in her bed and turn to face Selena "yes. Still tired but much better. My throat hurts, but they say that's because that's where it started. And then it hurts to pee which isn't fun" she says and scrunch her nose. The girl still has no filter and can go on and on about how much it hurts to pee and where it hurts. It's a symptom of the neutropenic fever aperently.

"i'm sorry it hurts, that must suck. But hopefully you can come out from the bobble soon and there are some presents waiting for you in your hospital room" Selena says and kenzie grins "thank you. I'm excited to see what it is"

-ellies pov-

I'm getting home from dance and aunty Selena is at the house waiting for me. Abigail and Lauren are out this evening so it's just me, Selena and aurora. aurora is in a mood where she refuses to be around anyone, so I get to spend some time with Selena alone which I rarely get to do.

"so how is it going with the boyfriend? It's been a while since I've been here or gotten to talk to you alone? How serious is it?" she asks as we are eating dinner together.

Whenever someone mentions Alex, I get giddy and have a smile on my face "it's going well. I'm happy in a way I haven't ever been before, it's just... I don't know how to explain it. It's pretty serious I think, but we are just taking things at the pace that's comfortable for us. There is no pressure or expectations, we are just happy and enjoy spending time together" I tell her.

I've been through a lot of hard things in my life, so it's nice to have some things go right for a change. "i've gathered that things have become intimate" she says with a smirk, and I blush but nod. "How are you feeling about that? And what do your parents say?"

"well, my mom is taking it better than my dad, but I think he is coming around because he sees how happy Alex makes me. He was furious when he found out I took that step, but I think with everything going on that they have forgotten about it in some sense. But I think it's nice, it feels good. I would like to keep doing things that make me feel good and make me figure out new things about myself" even though its sex I get to explore different parts of myself in other ways too. I've become way more confident and less attached at my mom's hip. I've figured out that other people than just my parents can make me feel safe and protected. Even if it doesn't work out in the long run, I feel like i'm learning good things about myself. I hope I never lose him; I hope that we last, but if we don't I want to hold onto the good things.

"and you're being safe? Birth control and condoms?" she asks with a raised eyebrow, and I nod "yes, my mom made me go to the doctor and I had to hear way too many painful details about it. But I get why though, I don't want to get pregnant or an STD, so it's fine"

I am starting to wonder what sex without a condom feels like. Some say you feel it better and its more enjoyable, especially for the guy. Caroline has stopped using condoms with her boyfriend and she says it's so much better, but I don't know if I want to try it. Maybe it will feel even better for me too? After all we are each other's only sexual partner so I don't see how either one of us could get an STD if we are only, and have only ever, slept with one another.

"I think the part that's the hardest for both of them is that I'm growing up. After everything I've been through, they've gotten so used to knowing everything about how I'm doing, and just that things constantly are bad, but now I'm starting to become my own person. Before I didn't like being away from my mom at all, now I love going over to Alexs's house or being at the dance studio alone without her sitting in the waiting room. It's not that I don't need them anymore, I really do, but at the same time I want to figure some things out for myself too" I tell her.