Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

its hard

-taylors pov-

Joe left to go get our stuff from home and Ellie is sitting on her bed with her legs tucked against her chest like a little ball. I know she hates this and isn't okay, but we don't have a choice here. That breaks my heart because I wish that we could help her at home, but she needs more help right now than we can provide for her.

There is a knock on the door "hi Elliana and Taylor. It's time for lunch" she says and unhook Ellie from her iv. "i'm not going" she says and cross her arms and I go over to rub her back.

"We don't make exceptions here Elliana. You need to come and sit at the table with me and your mom" the nurse whose name is Regina says.

"Ellie come on. Let's go" I usher Elliana and take her hands to pull her gently out of bed as she starts to cry. "Come on. I'm going with you, it's okay" I tell her and with her clinging to me we walk into a big dining room where there are patients already eating.

Here they are focusing on family-based therapy so each family sits together but it seems like some sit together with other patients and families too.

Some girls got tubes like Ellie, some are crying, and some are eating. It's hard to watch a room filled with girls and a few boys that all have similar issues trying to force themself to eat.

Ellie, Regina and I sit down at a table where they have Ellies food ready, and I get to go to the self-serve station that some patients get to use and the parents. Elliana gets measured and calculated food because of the high risk for refeeding syndrome they need to make sure she doesn't get too many or too few calories.

I simply get 2 slices of bread with butter and cheese and a glass of juice. I'm not particularly hungry really but I need to make an effort to so I can try to model some good eating behaviors for Ellie.

When I come back to the table Ellie is sitting there with tears in her eyes looking at the plate in front of her. Its half a slice of bread with butter and cheese and then a glass of milk. It's not much but it's a start.

I start to eat my food and Regina does the same, but Ellie doesn't even touch her food. "Come on Elliana, you need to try" Regina tells her. "i'm not going to stay here and i'm not going to eat. You can't make me eat" she says and crosses her arms. She is so stubborn.

"You have half an hour to complete a meal Elliana and then the rest goes down the tube. We don't negotiate here" Regina says, and I can tell Ellie is panicking but I remind myself that this is for her best interest.

The time runs out and I dread what comes next. We get sent to the living room to wait and then we hear another girl screaming which probably means they are tube feeding her. Ellie tuck herself under my arm and I hold her close.

"it's too loud mom" she whimpers, and I kiss the top of her head "i know you don't like loud sounds Ellie. it will be over soon"

Eventually the nurses come inn and call Ellies name, and she clings to me. "No mom please" she pleads but I shake my head and stand up as I try to keep a cool head. "Come on Ellie. You can come with me in there or they can pick you up and carry you sweetie. That's your choice" I tell her and caress her face.

Already sobbing I drag her up and lead her towards the room the nurses said she needs to go in, but when we reach the door, she panics. "i'm not going in there" she says and sit down on the floor. "Elliana come on" I tell her, and she refuses.

I step away and with her kicking and screaming the nurses get her inside and do what they need to do. Hearing your own child scream like this is really hard. There is nothing I can do to help her right now and I feel so useless. All I can do is be there for her after and give her a big cuddle and tell her how much I love her. I want to spare her for any kind of pain in life, but I can't spare her from this.