Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

the day after

"I don't remember much from last night, I remember drinking and dancing. That's about it" she says, and I shrug "that's normal with that amount of alcohol. Do you remember the incident with the guy? The stuff you told me on the phone?" I ask her and she shakes her head. 

"You told me that he tried to make you go upstairs with him, to have sex with him. That's why you and Lauren were hiding in the bathroom" I tell her and that makes me really anxious. The fact that being in this situation could have ended with such a horrible situation. Ellies eyes widen "holly shit. I don't remember that I don't remember much" she mumbles. 

"Have you told mom?" she asks, and I shake my head "no I wanted to talk to you first" I tell her honestly. Taylor and I aren't exactly speaking much these days and constantly avoiding one another, so I didn't feel a need to call last night. Not to mention that she wouldn't have left the hospital to help deal with our drunk daugther either, so I didn't see the need to. 

She looks up at me with pain in her eyes "are you two going to get a divorce?" she asks me, and I furrow my eyebrows "no. Why would you think that? 

She shrugs "because you two aren't talking. You're miserable and she is too, at least the little I see of her I can see she isn't herself. I get worried" the fact that it's so bad Ellie has noticed means that Taylor and I have a serious problem on our hands. I thought we were hiding it well, but clearly, we aren't and that's a big problem. "We aren't getting a divorce Ellie, that's not even on the table. Having three kids with a lot of things going on is hard on any couple, but we will work on getting back to a good place" I tell her honestly. 

Of course I want to stay with Taylor, just hearing my daugther talk about divorce scares me. The last thing I want to do is loose Taylor, I don't see how I would be able to go on without her by my side. We need to fix us, but I don't know how we are supposed to do that. First of all, I know we need to talk, but I'm scared to do that. What if this is the thing we can't come back from? 

"How mad are you at me?" she asks, and I sigh "honestly, I'm really mad, but I'm more concerned than mad. I'm concerned that you're so in need of relief that you went out and got drunk, that really worries me. So I'm more worried and scared than mad Elliana. I think that we should make an appointment with your therapist because clearly you need to talk to someone, and if you can't talk to us, I need you to talk to her." 

She bites her lip "how much trouble am I in? What kind of consequences am I getting" honestly, I haven't even thought about that part, I'm more concerned with taking care of her. "Listen, I'm not in any way telling you that what you did was okay or acceptable. It was completely unacceptable and reckless. But I'm more worried about you than mad. We need to make a clear agreement that if you get those thoughts again you absolutely need to come to me, no other option is on the table. You need to promise me that this was a one-time thing and that we are going to work on communication, so you don't feel the need to hurt yourself again" 

Part of me want to lock her inside her room until she turns 18 so I can make sure she doesn't get herself in a dangerous situation again, but I know that in the long run that won't help. "so I'm not grounded or locked away in my room forever?" she asks. 

"No you're not. If you went out to drink just because you wanted to break our rules or something like that it would be a totally different conversation. But clearly this is a call for help, and I'm going to make sure you get the help you need Ellie. No matter what is going on I'm never too busy for you, there is always room for you" I say and pull her in for a hug.

Grounding her won't make her open up to me, I know that. She has been so closed off and distant and clearly this was a breaking point for her. I don't even care which one of their ideas it was to go out like this, but I'm going to make sure she gets the help she needs.