Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

came back to me

"of course. You're his wife, he wants you there. Don't worry about the girls, I've got them" she says and I'm so thankful she flew from London to be here with us. It's good to know that someone I trust, and love is at home with the girls so I can be here with joe. The kids need me too but right now joe needs me more. I don't want to leave him alone here at all before I know he is okay. 

**

Eventually he comes back to the room and is allowed to have his head raised more in bed and ask for some water, so I give him some with a straw. "How are you feeling" I ask him and sit down on the edge of his bed. "Sore. Happy to see you. A bit scared" he says and cough again. His voice is coming back in more words after one another but it's still raspy. It's probably going to be like that for a while. 

"i'm happy to see you too. Take all the time you need to get back on your feet, I'm not going anywhere. We are in it together and I'm going to hold your hand" I say and gently kiss him again. "And I would give you a big snuggle, but there is a lot of wires" I say and giggle. 

"How am I?" he asks, and I sigh "you had some bleeding in your brain, so they had to operate. You have a catheter coming out of your head right now to make sure that blood doesn't collect there again. And you had some internal bleeding but it's not getting worse so no need to operate on that. Your head got the worst of it. Some broken ribs though, and a broken leg. But ortho says the leg should heal completely in a few weeks" 

They said that the rest of his body was actually pretty lucky, it could be much worse, it was his head that got the worst of it. But that's the scariest part, his head. Because that's the center of what makes him joe, his brain is what gives him life. 

"i'll be okay Taylor. It will take time. But I'm okay" he says, and I know he is saying it to make me feel better, but he doesn't actually know that. We don't know if this is just a momentary improvement and then he gets worse again. We don't know what's going to happen so I'm soaking up this time that I get to see him awake and talking. 

"You look like crap" he says and tries to laugh but ends up coughing instead. "Says you joseph. You look worse than me" I chuckle. 

I know I look tired, I've hardly slept so I have purple bags under my eyes, eating has been hard because I just don't have an appetite, my head is still hurting a lot and I'm just exhausted. 

Eventually a doctor comes in "i've looked at your MRI and you're really lucky man so far. There is no contusions or bleeding. It will take time to get you on your feet and get your strength back. But now that you're awake we are more optimistic. It will take time, you're not out of the woods yet, but waking up and having motor skills, even pupils and the ability to speak is all good sighs. What we were most scared off is that the location of the bleed would prevent you from waking up or that your brain would swell. Those two factors were the most dangerous parts, but it seems to be stable. Now it's all about healing and taking your time. If you're not declining, we will move, you to the neuro step down unit tomorrow. It's not the level of the ICU but it's the step between the ICU and the medical floor." he explains to us, and I take a deep breath. 

This is good news, they are optimistic. He is one of the lucky once that actually woke up form this. Thats something I'm going to hold onto. This has taught me that at any moment we can lose someone we love, and we need to appreciate eachother more. 

The doctor leaves us again and I smile gently at joe "if you want, I can bring the girls by tomorrow after they move you. Rest for the rest of the day. But I'm going to be here, I'm not going anywhere" I tell him and run circles on the back of his hand. 

"Sleep at home tonight love, I don't want you to sleep in that uncomfortable chair. You need rest, you need to take care of yourself. I'm in the hospital and have lots of people monitoring me, I will be okay. But you need to take care of yourself my love" he says gently. "I know but I just... I don't want to leave and then something happens" I say and choke on my words.