Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

the day that keeps getting worse

"I can't say that I know what you're going through. I have been cheated on but not while I had a kid. So just know that I'm here to listen if you want to talk or rant about it. And I have plenty of wine we can drink while the kids go to bed" I say and smile at her. Talking over a bottle of wine seems to be a trend we have had going on for years. 

Dinner is ready and we all sit down and eat. Ellie is struggling a lot tonight and is almost in tears, so I rub her back but try to keep a low profile to not cause lots of questions from everyone else. Per Ellies request we haven't told aurora and Kenzie what's going on with her because she wants to be normal in their eyes. I've tried to tell her that she isn't abnormal, and it's okay to struggle, but she isn't hearing any of it, so we let it slide. I've learned in this process that you need to pick your battles, and this isn't a priority. 

The younger kids and Lauren finish eating so aurora and Kenzie run off to do their own thing while I sit here with Ellie who is softly crying now. Thankfully Abi understood my looks and went with Lauren into the Livingroom so I could help Ellie more. 

"Sweetie, come on. You're doing so well. I'm right here and we are going to get you through this meal too. Do you want to keep trying with the food or do you want to take fortisip?" I ask her and caress her head as she cries. "it's so hard mom" she whimpers. 

"I know you're having a hard time. Let's take it one meal at a time. If you take a few more bites, your hallway and I can get fortisip measured for the rest of it" I tell her and kiss her forhead before going to get the fortisip. 

I take away her plate and hand her the measured amount of fortisip. It's a calorie supplement that you get at the pharmacy. It's not the best tasting but it's fine and simple as well as filled with the right nutrients and vitamins you need. 

"Do you want to talk about how the lunch at school went?" I ask her and hold her hand while she drinks. "It was fine... the other girls were mean... but taking with Lauren and Katie helped" 

We have had issues for years with bullies at her school. It's a real problem but Ellie refuses to let us talk to the school about it again. Aperently it gets worse every time and I'm at a loss for what to do at this point. I was bullied a lot in middle school, so I know what it feels like. "What did they say?" 

"They say that I was an attention seeking anorexic. And they said it so loud that everyone around us heard" she says and bursts out into tears. I pick her up and sit her in my lap and wrap my arms tightly around her. "My little munchkin. You're not attention seeking, far from it. I wish there was something I could do to help" I say and gently rock us. 

As a parent its heartbreaking to hear that your child is being bullied and there isn't really much you can do to fix it. We have done everything we can but at this point it's doing more harm than good. "Is it still the same girls?" I ask her gently. 

TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM 

"Yes, it's the three of them. Everyone else stays away from me and that's fine I don't care. They are scared of becoming targets too and I get that. But why can't they just ignore me and leave me alone. I want to be invisible mom" she says between sobs and start to scratch her arm in desperation so I take her hands so she can't do it "hurting yourself won't help it Elliana. It's a temporary fix that only works in the moment but not in the long haul" 

She tries to get her arms free, but I try to hold her, but she is 12 years old so that's not easy. In hysteria she gets out of my grasp and start to pace around the kitchen with tears streaming down her face and sobbing. "Elliana I need you to take deep breaths and come back here" I tell her gently, but she isn't listening. 

Then she acts fast, and my eyes widen. She grabs some scissors that are laying on the counter and I shoot up from my seat "Ellie put that down" I try to say but she bolts out of the room and sprints into the office and just as I reach the door, she locks it.