Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

Coping mechanisms

"Are you disappointed in me" she says and look down "no I'm not, I'm sad that you are in so much pain that you turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. But I can't be mad because you're hurting, and I don't want that for you. So we are going to work together to get you better Elliana"

She follows me to my bathroom, and we get her cleaned up properly. The antibacterial stuff stings but it's important to keep it clean.

"Now I know you don't want me to do this, but I need to go through your bathroom and room to check for more. I know you said you don't have more, but I need to make sure. And where did you get the blades from" I tell her, and she tells me she got them from our bathroom while we were downstairs.

So while she reads a book on her bed I go through some places in her room, get rid of her scissors and tell her that she needs to be around us if she is going to use them, and then I make sure there are no more blades in her bathroom. I also remove the blades from our bathroom and put them somewhere else, so she isn't tempted to go in there again. It's a delicate balance of what to remove because we don't want to shield her from any possible trigger because that isn't real life, but we don't want to tempt her either. So for now, no sharp objects upstairs.

"so are you going to be responsible and not go in the bathroom or do I need to lock it to help you. I'm not accusing you of anything I just want to know how much responsibility you can handle right now" I ask her, and she takes some time to think and said I should probably lock the one in her room, but she is fine with the other bathrooms, that's a good compromise, I think.

The other girls and joe come home, and I go downstairs to hear all about their day while Ellie gets some time to relax as she is exhausted from therapy and us finding out about her hurting herself. Joe and I need to talk about this all, because I need to talk about it but we can't before the kids go to bed. I know it's not Ellies fault, but it's exhausting that it's one thing after the other, I feel like there is always a new thing that comes at us, and I feel overwhelmed.

Aurora and Kenzie gets set up with their homework at the kitchen table and joe led me into the living room for a loment alone and wrap his arms around me. "I can see how tense you are Taylor, we get to talk about it when the girls are in bed. Just know that we are in this together" he says and kiss the top of my head.

"Is it bad that the only thing I want now is you and me naked upstairs and letting the world outside fade into nothing because we are pleasuring one another" I whisper in his ear, and he tighten his arms around me. "We can do that when the girls are in bed. We haven't had sex since before Ellie got in the hospital"

When we get to be together like that, I get some fun intimate moments with my husband, but it also relaxes my body and my mind. When we are making love, I forget about everything else going on in our lives and right now that sounds wonderful to me.

Joe goes to get dinner ready while I help Kenzie and aurora with their homework. Neither one of them like homework, but they have to do it before dinner even though it ends in arguments. We are trying to figure out how to make homework easier for the family and are considering even waking them up an hour earlier in the morning and doing it before school because it's not working with doing It after school. When they get home, they are exhausted and want to relax or play, but they are stuck with homework. If we did it in the morning, we would probably get happier kids when they get home from school even though it means getting up earlier.

"mom" Ellie calls from upstairs so I excuse myself from the girls and go to hear what is up. "i need to use the bathroom" she says and look down and I shrug "sure, come on" I tell her with a smile and unlock her bathroom. do I want to be following my 12-year-old in the bathroom? No but we can't trust her. So I turn on the sink and turn around to give her some sense of privacy as she does what she needs to do.