Don't Save Me

Chapter 53: Never Again

"Ready, dears?" she asked, giving me a small smile. I chuckled before nodding and walking over to her. She held the cup out to me. "You'll go first, dear and Severus will follow right after. He'll be there immediately after you, alright?"

I nodded, slowly letting go of Severus's arm and taking a bit of Floo Powder in my hand. I stepped into the fireplace and dropped the Floo Powder, saying my uncle's address. Green flames rose around my body and I disappeared from their sight. 

I stepped into my uncle's living room and the smell of cigarette smoke hit my nose instantly. Liquor bottles littered the floor and I kicked them aside as I stepped out of the fireplace. I hadn't stepped foot inside this room in years. My uncle had kept me in the basement for years and if I had to use the bathroom I was forced to use a bucket that was placed in the basement and changed every morning. I was never allowed outside. I felt my body grow cold and I wrapped my arms around myself. What if they never come? What if they leave me here? What if they can't get through? My thoughts ran wild as my anxiety threatened to overwhelm me. My thoughts were stopped as green flames appeared in the fireplace and Severus stepped through. He instantly walked toward me, not even caring about the smell or the liquor bottles that he stepped across as he made his way toward me. He instantly took his cloak off and wrapped it around my body, pulling me into him. His hands moved up and down my back, warming my cold skin. I buried my face in his neck, grateful to be inhaling the scent of parchment and the faintest smell of potion fumes instead of my uncle's disgusting odor. A few moments later Minerva entered the living room making quite the effort not to wrinkle her nose at the smell. She stepped over a few liquor bottles that littered her path as she made her way over to Severus and I.

"So... where to first?" she asked. I pulled away from Severus, still wearing his cloak and led the way upstairs. I walked down a long, dark hallway until I found a single switch. My fingers grazed the light switch before flicking it. A single light bulb lit the hallway and I led the way into my aunt and uncle's room. It still looked the exact same as I remembered it, though several liquor bottles littered the floor. I stopped at the doorway, hesitating for a moment. It had been years since I had been allowed in this room. Once my aunt had died my uncle never allowed me in this room. I stepped through the doorway and made my way to the wardrobe, opening it. My aunt's side had been left untouched for years and my uncle's side was messy. Clothes were thrown around in the bottom and liquor bottles fell as soon as I opened it. I jumped back and closed his side, focusing only on my aunt's side. Despite everything, he had kept her side relatively clean. Her clothes were all neatly hung and her shoes were neatly arranged at the bottom. Several of her books sat in the top, neatly arranged. I grabbed a duffel bag from the top of the closet and threw the books inside it. I moved from the closet, placing the bag on the bed and moved to the dresser. Her jewelry sat on the dresser. I took a few rings and necklaces, placing them in a jewelry organizer and placing them into the duffel bag. I grabbed one of her hoodies from the closet and placed it into the duffel bag. I took one last look around the room before zipping the duffel bag and moving down the hall to my old room.

It felt strange being in my old room once again. It hadn't changed since I was 7 years old. I could still remember the morning I made my bed before heading out to play in the creek. The bed was still made. The book I was reading lay by my bedside table untouched for years. I grabbed it and placed it in the duffel bag. Minerva and Severus watched from the doorway, nothing how young the room seemed. The pink bedding and nightlight still plugged into the wall caught their attention. I grabbed the photo album that sat by the bed and placed it into the bag, before zipping it and turning to leave the room. Minerva and Severus parted in the doorway for me to walk through. I paused, turning to take one last look at the room I hadn't seen in years. I quickly walked over to the nightlight and unplugged it. (Your favorite cartoon character)'s face staring up at me as I placed it on the floor. I turned back around, flipping the light switch, before whispering a quiet "goodbye." The room flickered into darkness as I closed the door, a single tear slipping down my cheek. Severus placed his hand on my back as we moved down the hallway and into the living room. At the end of the hallway the door to the basement stood ajar and I froze. Severus stood next to me, softly rubbing my back.

"You alright?" he asked me softly. I nodded and continued walking into the living room. Severus gently took the duffel bag from my hands. "Anything else you need?"

I thought for a moment before nodding. He threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and nodded. "Lead the way."

"Uhm... actually... this part... I think I should do on my own," I said, not meeting his eyes. He walked toward me, gently lifting my chin.

"Are you sure?" he asked me as his hand gently moved to stroke my cheek. I nodded before continuing.

"I need to make my peace with it... I'm sure... He doesn't own me anymore and I'd like to say goodbye to the room that I grew up in... the room that once held so much pain and I think... I'd like to visit the place she died... if we have time..."

"Of course we have time, dear," Minerva replied, smiling. "We'll be here when you're ready." I smiled at her and nodded.

"Thank you, Minnie."

Severus walked to me, pulling me into a hug, his head resting on top of my head.

"I'll be right here if you need me."

"Thank you, Sev... I just need to say goodbye."

He nodded and slowly pulled away, his hand still cupping my cheek. I knew he would understand. I didn't need to say goodbye to anyone in particular. I needed to say goodbye to the place I had been held, to say goodbye to the painful memories and to let go of the pain. I knew that pain would hold me back in life and I knew I had to do everything I could to let it go. I needed to let that scared little girl go. He let go of my face and I turned toward the basement door.