Don't Save Me

Chapter 40: What Do You Want?

I sat in the courtyard, tears spilling from my eyes as I quickly looked down and wiped them away. I opened my book and continued reading, knowing I had to hold my emotions inside. If people see you sad they begin to ask questions and I can't have anyone asking questions. After a few moments of reading, I heard footsteps coming through the grass, heading toward me. I looked up to see James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius heading toward me. I scoffed and closed my book, quickly standing up to leave.

"Y/n, wait!" Sirius called, stopping me in my tracks. They reached me and Sirius took my hand in his. "Y/n..."

"What do you want, Sirius?" I asked, turning toward him. His eyes filled with sadness as they met mine.

"Y/n... have you been crying?" he asks, bringing a hand to my cheek, cupping it.

"No, why?"

"Y/n... don't lie... please."

I quickly looked around, making sure no one else could hear me but there was no one outside anyway. It was a darker, rainy day and not many people wanted to be outside, but I couldn't help but find comfort in the darker weather.

"What do you want me to say, Sirius?"

"The truth." 

I scoffed at his words.

"The truth about what? How I lost my best friend because of you?"

"What...?"

"You know damn well what, Sirius!"

"What did he tell you?" James asked, his voice only making me angrier. Sirius sensed this and began softly stroking my cheek.

"Nothing that concerns you." I tried to pull away, but Sirius pulled me into his chest. "Let me go!" I screamed, anger filling every inch of me as I pushed away from him.

"I know, darling... I know... shh," he soothed.

"I hate you... I hate you," I sobbed finally allowing the emotions to overwhelm me. Sobs racked my body as Sirius smoothed my hair. I felt his lips press to the top of my head and my body relaxed. "No... no..."

"Darling, talk to me."

"He left..."

"Who left?"

"Severus. He... he left." Sirius's body tensed and I rested my head on his chest. He instantly relaxed and held me as I sobbed.

"It's for the best, Y/n," Sirius said, rubbing my back. It was as if something clicked in that moment. I pushed him away from me and stumbled backward.

"You bastard!" I hissed. "You stand here acting as if you don't already know what happened. You did this!"

"Y/n..."

"No! You know what? It's funny," I laughed bitterly before continuing. "...because Severus was willing to let me go because he didn't want me to lose anyone. He was willing to give up our friendship... because he believed your stupid words about him not being good for me... but you," I spat, accusingly. "You wouldn't give up a single thing for me." With that, I turned on my heel and quickly walked away, leaving four very confused people and a boy watching from the window, his black hair falling in front of his face as a single tear slipped down his cheek.