Sweet Venom

45. Holding Hands and Life Was Perfect

"I don't have any clothes here." I said looking up at Gerard as he walked to his closet.

"You can borrow some," He reached into his dresser and started pulling out shorts and searched for a shirt.

"You can't steal some from my room?" I joked, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"Not tonight sweetheart. I'm too tired for that." He turned and smiled at me.

"Okay," I said softly as I got up and walked to him.

"Here you go," Gerard handed me a t shirt and some basketball shorts that I could already tell would not fit me.

"Thanks Gee."

I took the clothes with me and went into his bathroom to change. Pulling the shirt on I could see it fell halfway down my thighs. No need for shorts then. I tried them on anyway and didn't feel like bothering with the drawstring so I just ditched them all together. I took my dirty clothes with me out of the bathroom.

Gerard stood by the washing machine with his dirty clothes and looked over to me as I walked out of the bathroom. I could see his cheeks darken a little. Maybe not wearing shorts was a bad idea but they weren't going to fit me anyway. I head over to him and hand him my clothes, holding the basketball shorts in my other hand.

"I'm just going to leave them in here and turn this on in the morning okay?"

I nod at him sleepily before turning away and heading to his bed. I drop the shorts off in his dresser and crawl into his bed under the covers. I adjust his pillows so we can both have one and slide over so there's plenty of space for him but also so I'm not totally crushed against the wall. As I settle in Gerard comes over and sits awkwardly on the bed.

"Are you going to make this awkward?" I say looking up at his back.

He turns to look down at me. "Sorry. You just." he takes a breath before turning all the way getting his legs on the bed. "You look cute."

I laugh and roll my eyes at him.

"It's true," He says as he settles down next to me.

"You forgot to turn the lights off hun." I smile at him.

"Fuck." He turns and in a blink the lights are off and he's back in the bed next to me, closer than before. "Uh sorry. Is this too close?"

I laugh. "Do you want to cuddle, dork?"

"Yeah." he breathes.

I scoot closer to him until my hand brushes his arm. Gerard turns on his side and faces me.

"Aren't you going to be the little spoon?" He reaches out and places a hand on my waist.

I sigh, scooting closer to him. "Maybe."

Gerard wraps his arm around me and holds me close to his chest. I put my head against him and snake my arm under his and around him, holding him next to me. Everything feels calm now. A little more safe and very much like things will never be the same. My brain keeps wandering to the what if's and flashbacks of Gerard on the ground.

"Your thoughts are loud, baby." Gerard whispers above me.

"I'm sorry." I press my face into his chest trying to calm my mind.

"I'm safe ya know. So are you." Gerard rubs my back softly.

"I know, my brain is just going through it all."

Gerard presses his lips against my head. "I know. But I've got you. I won't let anything hurt you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I sigh deeply before pulling away a bit to look up at Gerard.

"Better, pumpkin?" He smiles softly at me.

"Better my Angel." I giggle softly leaning in to peck Gerard's lips.

"Good." He presses a more firm kiss to me, tightening his arm around my waist.

I pull away and press my forehead against his, keeping my eyes closed and reveling in the calm that washes over me.

"Alright now turn around so I can be the big spoon." Gerard blurts out.

I can't stop the laugh that bubbles up. "You just want to feel my butt."

"Oh my god," I can hear the eye roll from Gerard as I pull away from him. "Just let me hold you."

"You were holding me." I say as I turn around and settle back down on the mattress.

"I know but like." He sighs as he wraps an arm around me. "This is better and we fit together better." He pulls me back slightly so my back is pressed against his chest.

"I guess." I say trying to hide the small smile on my lips.

Gerard shifts behind me and I feel a kiss being placed on the bandaid on my neck. "I love you." He whispers against my skin.

"I love you too Gerard."

Gerard hums as he settles back down behind me, holding me as close as humanly possible to himself. I let myself relax back into him and listen to his breathing as it lulls me to sleep.