part 40

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we all head to the movie room. it's jaden then mads then addison then charli then blake then me then nessa then bryce. that's how we sit on the couch. nessa is leaning towards bryce with her head on him as he rub his hand over her back. he kisses her head and we watch the movie. i remember the second movie night we all had together. bryce chose 365 days. i remember that i used to be able to make nessa feel like that. i don't even pay attention to the movie i just think ab her. once the movie is over her and bryce and noah and millie leave to go to nessas place. i go down to the fridge and shotgun a white claw. mads sees me and comes over with jaden.

mads: josh
jaden: come on. don't drink bc your upset.
mads: why don't you head to bed?

i throw the can away and nod as i head upstairs and fall asleep.

nessas pov~

we just back and bryce and i are lying in bed.

you: i feel so bad
bryce: me too
you: when i went to see josh earlier he was c- crying.
bryce: you didn't do anything wrong baby. and he knows you didn't do anything wrong
you: i feel like i'm hurting everyone. addison. josh. fans that want braddison. fans that want jessa. maybe i should just die and everyone would be ok
bryce: no don't you dare say that. if you were to hurt yourself i would never forgive myself. everyone needs you. addisons your bestfriend. so are mads millie and charli. noah's your cousin. blake and you are close. jaden is your bestfriend. josh obviously loves you. and so do i. we all need you.
you: i love you too bryce

i kiss him gently. we drift to sleep.

2 weeks later

our movie was released onto netflix last week. bryce and i have watched it a few times. right after it was released on to netflix millie and noah left to go film another season of stranger things in miami. i miss them. i still feel bad for addison and josh. addison claims she's ok but i'm not sure. josh on the other hand is still struggling. some days i really think killing myself will be worth it. josh can stop seeing me and bryce together. maybe i should do it. but i don't.

right now we are all at sway. bryce and i are in the couch with jaden and charli. i'm cuddled into bryce's side. josh comes down. i quickly scramble to sit up not leaning on bryce. bryce and i try not to act like we are together around addison and bryce bc it would be kinda rude.

josh: i'm fine guys you don't have to act like y'all aren't together

he says it upset though and goes upstairs before we can say anything. addison comes in from the kitchen.

addison: oh hey

and then she walks to her room. i sigh.

you: maybe we should talk
bryce: i think that's a good idea.

we go onto the front porch.

you: i hate seeing josh and addison all upset
bryce: me too
you: and of course you still love addison and i love josh.
bryce: ya. maybe we just are dating because we were all eachother had in hawaii
you: i think so too. since we have been back i have seen josh and missed him so much
bryce: that's how i feel with addison.
you: so are we over?
bryce: i think it's best
you: me too. i still love you of course though. but more in like a brother friends way
bryce: ya i miss the old us. the fake enemy thing

i laugh. we hug and go inside. jaden mads charli and blake are in the living room.

charli: are you guys ok?
you: um we realized that he's meant to be with addison. and me with josh

they all smile so big.

mads: we loved y'all together but jessa and braddison are better
bryce: where's addison?
you: and josh?
blake: their rooms

jaden smiles. bryce goes to addisons room and i go to josh's. i take a deep breath and go in.

josh: hey
you: hi

i'm smiling

josh: why are you so happy *laughs

...................

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