addison talks to jaden while i go outside. a few months back charlie's now ex boyfriend chase tried getting with me. charli broke up with him and josh wrote a diss track. still softish. and now charli and josh are really close and it kinda bothers me. like i trust josh but i don't know. i'm not the jealous type. ok maybe a little. i go outback and see josh and charli splashing around in the pool laughing. and he picks her up and throws her.
you: hey josh: oh. hey nessa charli: hey you: what's up josh: we are just hanging out you: cool. charli: wanna join us? you: i'm good
i sound a little annoyed.
josh: nessa can we talk
i nod and we go over to a more private spot in the yard.
josh: why are you being rude? you: i'm not! josh: when you said i'm good you sounded annoyed you: oh maybe because my boyfriend has been spending so much time with his friend that happens to be a girl and is neglecting me. let me ask you something. are you cheating on me with her? josh: you think i'm cheating?! you: idk that's why i'm asking! josh: i'm not cheating on you nessa! i can't believe you'd actually think that! you: well it's hard for me not to when you hangout with her all the time! josh: because we are friends! why are you being so possessive?! you: because we have barely talked all week because you've been with charli!! josh: sorry that i can't have friends that are girls! you: we are being just like jaden and mads! josh: then maybe we should break up just like them! you: maybe we should! josh: fine we are done! you: fine! i'm leaving!
i go inside and as soon as i shut the door tears stream down my face. addison and jaden run to me.
addison: are you ok?? what happened?! you: j- josh and i are d- done
addison hugs me tight.
jaden: what happened?? you: i- i said we haven't seen eachother all week because h- he's been with charli and i get he's allowed to h- have friends that are girls but he's b- been with her all week besides when we are t- together we have been fighting jaden: i'm so sorry addison: jaden i'm gonna take her home why don't you go check on josh
i look out the door. he's hugging charli tight. more tears fall.
you: looks like he doesn't need it
addison and i get in the car and she drives us to my house. i go straight to my room and lock myself in there crying.
mads: beb let us in. talk to us. you: let me be alone
they hesitantly left me alone. i look through cute tiktoks of me and josh. and then i come across some cute pictures.
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i cry harder. i'm such and idiot. why did i get so jealous?! i hate myself for getting mad at him. he won't take me back now though. i look in the mirror. i can't even look at myself. i lost the best thing that has happened to me. i throw my phone at my mirror shattering it
you; fuck!
i didn't scream because i shattered my mirror. i screamed because i hate myself for being the reason i lost him. i sit down on the floor crying.
addison: what happens?! what was that bang? mads: are you ok?
i don't answer them. i'm just drowning in my thoughts and tears. i sit in there for hours crying. once i can't cry anymore i lay on my bed staring at the ceiling with puffy eyes and a stuffy nose. what did i do to even get him in the first place? he deserves someone like charli. someone that is good for him. i don't even know why him and i were together. i'm nothing. but i lost my everything bc i'm a jealous bitch.
