it wasn't fine but i wasn't gonna say that. bryce and jaden shoot me a look but i ignore them. they keep telling me i'm in love with nessa. i am but they don't need to know. and i have charli and we are doing great so.
we spend the rest of the day hanging out after the girls finally got in the pool. later that night bryce gets a text from tayler.
bryce: tayler just said party is off. his parents ended up staying home
josh: just tell him to tell everyone to come here
all the girls and blake and jaden agree. bryce tells tayler and tayler tells everyone he knows in texas.
nessas pov~
people start to flood the house. good thing we have lots and lots of alcohol. bryce comes over to me.
bryce: shotgun?
you: you know it
we both grab white claws and bite a hole in it.
blake: ok. go!
we pot the can open and chug out of the hole. i win obviously. after an hour or 2 i'm pretty tipsy. i stumble over to blake smiling.
you: blakeyyyyy
he's not drunk he probably only had a drink or 2.
blake: hey ness
i smash my lips into his and we make out. he tried to talk between kisses.
blake: ness- your- d- drunk
you: i- dont- care
we hear someone laugh behind us and pull away.
mads: oOo
you: hey madsssss
i go and hug her. after that i don't remember anything. i wake up the next morning on top of blake. am i crushing him?? oh no. i'm thinking like this again. i get up and go to the bathroom to weigh myself. I GAINED TWO POUNDS IN TWO DAYS! fuck. i'm not eating today. or tomorrow. i let blake sleep and i go downstairs. charli and josh went to breakfast. i go and sit in the living room with everyone.
jaden: hey bub
you: hey j
addison: you good?
you: ya just tired.
mads: i'm starving
bryce: me too
you: y'all are always hungry
i'm trying to seem like myself so they don't suspect me not eating. blake comes down and sits with me on the couch.
blake: good morning
he pecks my lips and i smile. i do remember making out with him last night. i really do like him.
blake: what do you wanna do today?
you: just chill
2 days later
i haven't eaten and i don't think anyone has noticed which is good. except now i don't feel the greatest. it's not too bad though right now i'm laying on the couch. i was the first one up. everyone comes out but josh and charli.
addison: you ok?
you: i'm fine
blake: do you want something to eat?
you: no.
bryce: that's it!
jaden: oh shit
they all realized.
mads: bby you have to eat
you: i do eat
addison: you haven't really eaten. i'm so sorry we didn't notice.
blake: what happens if she doesn't eat?
you: i- i have an eating disorder and i made myself really sick a good couple of months ago
he hugs me
blake: i'm sorry
bryce: you have to eat nessa
you: shutup shotgun
bryce: nessa i'm not being funny right now. i'm being serious.
jaden: ya. you need to eat
you: no
blake picks me up and we all go sit at the kitchen counter table thing. mads and addison make breakfast. josh and charli come out.
josh: morning guys
they all give josh a look
charli: what's going on?
bryce: josh she won't eat again
josh comes and hugs me. he sits down on the other side of me. josh on my right and blake on my left. mads sets a plate with a pancake in front of me. i pick up my fork and then put it down.
you: i don't want to
blake rubs his hand against my knee.
you: i gained 2 pounds in a few days.
jaden: it's ok. i've gained stuff too just from not working out this week.
bryce: ya we all have
addison: beb we just need you to eat
charli and blake are staying quiet bc they don't know how to help since this went on before we knew blake and before we were close with charli.
josh: please
i shake my head no. josh takes one of my hands.
josh: stop thinking your too heavy. your not. your perfect and beautiful. don't worry about your weight.
i just put my head down not to look at anyone. josh pulls me so i'm sitting across his lap. i lean my head on his shoulder as he picks up my fork getting a bite on it. he brings the fork to my mouth but i don't open it.
josh: janessa
i sigh and slowly open my mouth. he feeds me that bite. then 3 more.
you: i- i don't want more
josh: that's ok. but you have to eat a little for lunch later too.
he sets the fork down and wraps both his arms around me tightly. i miss him holding me like this. i look up at josh and we just stare at eachother for a minute. i look up and don't see blake and charli. i quickly get off josh's lap.
you: where's blake?
mads: um i think he went upstairs
josh: where's charli?
jaden: in your room
josh goes to his room to find charli and i go upstairs to me and blakes room to find blake. i find him lying in our bed looking up.
...............
