part 14

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josh's pov~

how am i so stupid?! she hasn't been eating! she eats a few meals a week!! and she's always talking ab her weight! she's trying to starve herself

josh: i think ik what's wrong

i explain to them. the doctor then comes out.

doctor: so we figured out what is wrong with janessa. she hasn't been eating. we talked to her and after a while she told us she did eat a few meals every week but then would force herself to throw them back up. she has an eating disorder. she will not say why she won't eat. does anyone have an idea?
josh: she's obsessed with her weight. she thinks she's too heavy
doctor: then that's most likely the cause. you may all see her in a few minutes

we nod and the doctor goes back.

josh: i talked to her for a long time on the plane how she's not heavy. it's because of the hate. people tell her she is. i told her she's not and she needs to not let it affect her.
mads: it's not your fault
addison: ya you didn't know
josh: i should've pushed her to tell me. this is why she's been feeling like shit all week. i'm so stupid

we can go back now. they all tell me it's not my fault. she lies in the bed looking very weak with needles poking in her arms. i go over and hold her hand.

nessas pov~

josh: why didn't you tell me?
you: because. i didn't wanna worry you
josh: baby i know you think your too heavy but you can't starve yourself. and your once again perfect

i start to cry

you: i- i'm sorry i let all of you d- down
jaden: no bub. don't cry. you didn't let any one down. we are all here for you
bryce: exactly. we will help you
addison: but we need you to eat for us.
mads: and we can all workout together. we just need you to eat something each day without you throwing it up. ok?

i nod. they all take turns gently hugging me. after an hour i'm released. we go to sway and go in the kitchen

addison: i'm making mac n cheese. ok?

i nod. once it's done she gives everyone some. they all eat while i just stare at mine not wanting to eat.

jaden: nessa
bryce: please eat just a little

i just shake my head no. josh pulls me into his lap sitting across it. i lean my head on his shoulder.

josh: princess you gotta eat.

he picks up my fork and tried feeding me some. i don't open my mouth.

josh: janessa

he called me by my full first name. he's really serious ab this. i'm not trying to be stubborn. i open my mouth and he feeds me a few bites. he goes to feed me another but i stop him.

you: c- can i be done?
mads: ya beb. you did good.
addison: now your gonna stay with us so we can make sure you don't make yourself sick.

i nod.

you: can we workout?
jaden: ya.

i get changed into a t-shirt and leggings. we go outside to our gym. i just do ab workouts. while josh makes sure i'm ok

you: i'm good babe. you can workout

he nods and goes to the nearest bench and starts lifting. damn my boy is strong. he can bench 200. once i can't workout anymore i just sit on a bench catching my breath. bruce comes over and rubs my back.

bryce: you ok?
you: ya just still kinda weak
bryce: ok. we are going to saddle ranch soon. you've gotta eat something ok? i don't care if it's small

i nod

you: wow shotgun is turning into a softie

we laugh. we all go inside and take turns showering. i just wear josh's sweatpants and t-shirt. at saddle ranch. we get a table and order. i didn't want much so josh is just gonna let me have a few bites of his burger. while we wait for our food some fans come up.

fan: omg i can't believe i'm meeting you guys
jaden: hey
fan2: nessa are you and josh dating??

i shake my head no

josh: we are best friends
fan3: then why is she wearing your clothes?
josh: she was at sway and didn't have clean clothes. mads and addison were both um at the store and she didn't wanna go through their closets so i gave her clothes.
fan: mhm sure
fan2: well hi josh. i'm 16 and i'm single. we should hangout some time

she winks at him and i get so fucking jealous. is she flirting with my boy?

josh: sorry i don't date fans

the girl stomps away with the other girls following. we laugh as our food comes.

josh: here babe

i don't wanna eat. i just can't. i don't wanna be stubborn but i just really don't want to eat. a few tears roll down my cheeks.

you: i- i'm sorry
addison: no beb what are you sorry for??
you: i don't wanna eat. i'm sorry i'm being stubborn but i can't help it. i can't eat

josh puts his burger down and hugs me.

josh: princess we don't care if your being stubborn. we get it. but we aren't gonna stop trying. we need to get you to eat.
jaden: we all care ab you
bryce: even me

i smile a little

mads: cmon just a few bites please

i nod. i pick up josh's burger and take a bite. it was good. josh hugs me again.

josh: there you go

i only eat another bite and then we go back to sway.

.................

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