Shit rant poems

Bugged beetle

Hey its me bug beetle

Except its not charming this time

Its not simping its not a lovey dovey poem

I'm just grimy

I know im not a good person
Let alone a bug

And i never was

I wish someone would squish me down into the pavement with a defiant foot

Exerting no effort except to glance down at the aftermath

My small smudged carcass

With no discernible blood

To see im hollow

To see im fucked up

Im a small slimy grubby fucking bug

Big beetle

In love

But i fuck it up a lot

Bug beetle

Loyal

Except i find it so hard to make it work

Any relationship really

Lucky lukey

Hes the only one im close to getting things to keep going long term and as successfully as i can

See im a small fucking bug
But im needy

I cant keep friends and im terrified everyone will leave

Im a small bug and i don't feel close to anyone except one

Hes like hes hypnotic or addictive

A special crystal or sweet leaf
But everyone else

They might be across the room or just a phone call away

But i feel trapped
Tucked too tight into hospital sheets
Strapped to the bed

Force pumped full of the wrong drugs that make me numb and hollow out my stomach

Only making me want grease, coffee, leaves and validation

Constant consistent constant immediate validation

A grimy bug diet for a disgusting beetle life

Except nothing more and always less

My little stumpy arthropod legs havent reached therapy yet but theyre making it down that way

Maybe my eyes are too small but all i can see is the adrenalin driving through me like floods in disaster

The light is out of side and mind completely unless i think of him

And my boy

Both my boys

Maybe my friend

If she still wants me

Maybe about the future but its really scary

Im still learning to think for myself

Its alot for a small beetle

And fuck

Im really fucking scared

Bug beetle

Trying to be better or get squished trying

Bug beetle the paradox

Bug beetle the struggle

Bug beetle the handful

Bug beetle the resistant unwanted sob story

Bug beetle whose trying

Trying and trying again

For me

For me and me and me

And not him or it doesnt work

For bugs only

No boys no people

For bug by bug beetle

Hoping to crawl to something normal

A level thats much much much less hard