Shit rant poems

God i wish billie eilish was a lesbian

I so badly wished that Billie Eilish was a lesbian

For a quick reference

I am writing this from the perspective of me
15 years from now

Like it's not still happening

And like I don't want it anymore

Although I might still 15 years from now

I guess it's just based on her prominence in the media

And my love for throwback playlists

Or something like that

Anyway
Back to being wiser and older
I crisply remember

Being 15

Not quite 16

And falling

And loving

A lot of girls I couldn't have
Friends, celebrities and peers

Billie in this instance

Is one of the pack
Of wolves that tore my sapphic type soul

She is another elusive heterosexual

Pulling strings

On a very fucked up

And taped together violin

And even if it's stronger than duct or scotch

Its still weak plastic

Unglittery cheap gluey crap

Still letting girls in to break my heart

I remember this kind of shit so well
In good and bad times for love

Besides it still happens

Devastatingly enough

I thought this was naivety

But it's just me

My brain

Or lack thereof

And heart

Still after thirty years of use and existing

It is oh ever

S
o

Scrappy and easy to fall into wrenching painful & unforgiving

Time taking

Soul crushing

Lady killing

Sweet but disgustingly

Fun

Unrewarding

But the kind that makes me yearn it

Gut twisting

Head turning

Love

And I guess it's just something I've learned to

Maybe love

About myself