Shit rant poems

Words I will most likely regret publishing

She cannot tell when I am lying

She cannot read my tone in a text message

Or see how heart emojis are a thin veil

Or

Rug over a scratch on the floor

She cannot see what I hide
Because I've done it too well

She cannot know how I feel
Because she doesn't know me well enough to see through

She cannot understand how I deal with it
Because she's looking from the outside in

She's tells me to tell her anything

That she will listen to it all

I think to myself

That I could never burden you with that

The way you think you do me

Because

Even though I care for her so greatly

I always try to listen
Think how I can help
Reach out
Check up
Seek the underlying truth

I cannot see her doing any of this for me

Not that she wouldn't

But because I could

Maybe will

Never let her

And maybe

Just ever so slightly maybe

I like feeling like she sees me as perfect

Like that momentarily washes away everything

Rubs out my mistakes
Puts a new coat of paint over the old
Shows what the manufacturer wants

Like a trailer
Or catalogue

She sees what I want her to see

And

Knows only what she needs to

Its sad that she thinks it's so much more

I want to show it all

But I couldn't do that to my everything

Not her

For now I'll just cup her face and bring it to mine

And every fibre in my body will want to whisper my secrets to her

But I think my lips will betray me and kiss her I read

This romance is probably for the best

She doesn't need these extra things

I send her so many hearts and so much love to overcompensate

But my emotional distance is most likely why

No one of us can move forward

And it leaves up perpetually stuck

Neither one moving back or forewords

So we stand like parallel lines

With hands just holding

Just chapped lips ready to brush one other

Well

Maybe more than that

But

It's more unobtainable than ever now

Forever iconic and ironic though

For she complains to me about fake

Disingenuous birches

Who lack genuine real connections

Not knowing that I am one

Or possibly one with an anomaly

Or perhaps that she's wrong

Either way she is clueless

And I am too but incognito