Boy Band Games: Why Don't We Edition ✓

Chapter Thirty-two

WHEN THINGS GET rough, I usually run away and get coffee. But now, I have to face the consequences of whatever I did to deserve such... consequences.
I sat on the soft white bed inside Mia and I's room all while being stared down by two annoying girls.

"It's either you choose one, or all of them will get hurt." Mia confronted me, her right arm on top of the other as her concerned eyes stared down my soul.

To be quite honest, I don't know how to respond to situations like this. I've never experienced this before. As if the two boys confessing to me wasn't enough, a third one added into the mix. After Federigo dropped the 'I love you' bomb last night, all I've been is a confused mess inside Mia and I's room. The day already went on, but I haven't eaten a single meal, nor have I attended an episode shoot. The ugly trio was still here and were still finishing up their shoot or whatever this show made them do, hence, the awkward air was still present.

"Can we please not talk about this? I'm already stressed enough as it is." I grumbled, trying to shake away the problem like I always do.

Trina sat down beside me and gave me a hug, "Running away from the problem won't solve it, Lotte. Sometimes you just gotta face your fears."

Her encouraging tone made me want to cry. How could someone look at the bright side of this situation?

I squinted my eyes at her, "Fears? I'm not afraid. What could I possibly be afraid of?"

I pondered at the thought for a minute. Am I afraid? Afraid of what?

"Losing a friend?" Trina offered.

I shook my head. I know that these three boys wouldn't let our friendships be ruined because of something as small as this.

"Making the wrong decision?" She tried again, but I shook my head once more.

What kind of decision? It's probably nothing major. I don't think any decision regarding this subject would be that big of a deal. I mean, I've read about these... feelings in books and as far as I know, those things are temporary. Therefore, any decision made will be null and void before I know it.

"Nope, I don't think so, Trin." I sighed, plopping back on my bed and staring at the ceiling.

The three of us pondered on the thought for a couple of minutes, Trina sharing her thoughts every now and then, and me shaking my head in disapproval.

"What could I possibly be afraid of?" I let out a huge puff of breath and forced my eyes shut in dissatisfaction.

Then, Mia, who has been silent for the past minutes suddenly spoke. "Falling in love."

She didn't offer the thought, nor did she suggest it. Her tone was final, like what she said wasn't an idea at all, rather a realization.

My breath hitched in my throat as the three of us suddenly fell in an extremely awkward silence. I bit my lip, trying to test if I could still feel pain after my whole body numbed right when Mia said those three words.

Falling in love. The words echoed inside my mind as Trina and Mia looked at each other in realization while I stared into oblivion.

I could see Mia's lips muttering something, and Trina talking to me. Their lips were moving but even if I tried, I couldn't quite get whatever they were saying.

My ears couldn't hear anything they said; all that my mind could think about was what Mia had said. All of a sudden, a loud steady beep rushed into my head and I clutched it in pain.

Mia and Trina hurriedly hovered over me, one shouting over the other as concern etched all over their faces.

My eyes began to droop. But as my sight began to fade away into oblivion, one question flashed in big bright letters inside my mind.

Am I afraid of falling in love?

-

If there's anything in this world that scares me the most, it's losing myself; losing control over my own life. One month and a week into the show, I find myself in a white hospital gown for the second time. The white walls stared at me and I stared back in complete dismay of what my life had suddenly turned out to be.
The competition is still ongoing. With only fifteen girls left, the timeline was shortening. According the the calendar beside my hospital bed, today is a Saturday. Meaning, it's elimination day today. After today, only ten girls will be left in the show. Then one more week, and only the top five will stay.
I don't know if I still want to go home. The girls and the boys have become a huge part of my life in just a matter of weeks. This show changed my view of the world, or rather changed my world. These people managed to barge into my life with only my sister's consent, but somehow found their way into my heart.

I've been awake for almost two hours, but no Nurse, Doctor, or visitor even came by to check on me. Well, this sucks. No one cares about me.

I took the glass of water from my bedside table and gulped it down, hoping to get rid of the weird feeling I got. But I suddenly felt myself get sucked into something that felt so familiar, something I haven't been for a while. I felt empty. Maybe I was. Maybe I was empty.

"Charlotte Elora?" A voice shook me out of my thoughts and brought me back to the real world. In the middle of my brain rant, someone came inside my hospital room, without me even noticing their arrival.

I looked up so see someone who I knew too well. Her curly brunette hair, her brown eyes, her fair skin, and her pinkish face. My heart began to warm at the sight of her.

"Mom?" I called out , my mouth dropping  in disbelief.

She gave me a smile and sat on my hospital bed and engulfed me in a bone crushing hug. I felt her warmth instantly bring comfort to my wounded and confused heart. She tried to pull away but I hugged her tighter, my eyes suddenly watering when I realized how much I needed my Mom.

"What's wrong honey?" She looked me in the eyes and asked. As soon as she said those words, my lips trembled and I broke out in tears.

I began sobbing while my body shook in complete utter pain. "M-mom, I don't know what to do."

Her brown eyes softened while she looked at me in concern, "Hush now, what happened?"

I told her the story of how my panic attacks came to be. The boys, the girls, orange, Kai, and Federigo. I laughed, ranted, and then cried again. She was very patient when she listened; she put in her inputs and left comments every now and then.

"Okay now that you've told me the story, what do you want to do?" She asked, caressing the top of my head.

I sighed, wiping my tears, "I don't know. I just want to cry and cry, Mommy. The world's so unfair. I'm miserable."

She held my face in her hands, making me look into her eyes, "Charlotte Elora Ryans, you are the strongest girl I know. There isn't a single problem that you cannot solve, you know, except world peace, world hunger, and calculus. But still, those bullies on Twitter? We can have them taken care of by the authorities. Your father's a senator for Pete's sake!  That thing with the boys? Those are just boy problems. If you like one of them, then confess. If you don't like anyone, then tell them you don't like them. Just because they like you, doesn't mean that you're obligated to like them back. This is a free world, a free country even! You have a choice. Don't let your worries get to you. Everything will work out."

"B-but what if I'm still miser--" I stuttered out, but she cut me off.

"You're miserable because you choose to be. Besides, there are no ifs or buts in life, Charlotte Elora. Only I can and I will. So promise me that you can be happy and that you will be happy. Choose happiness, it will lead you to the right path."

"I promise." I answered her, my heart still warm, and my mind pondering about the things my mother had just told me.

She smiled at my reply, and for the first time since I've been in this hospital bed, I felt happy.

-
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Love, ibiza shekinah.