Chapter 30

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MICHAEL'S P.O.V

I feel anxious as I pull up at the dorms, taking a moment to think through what im going to say before finally deciding to climb out of my car and taking a deep breath, walking into the dorm building and towards Lauren's dorm.

I knock, wanting to run, like I was 10 again and scared of my dad.

There was no answer.

"Lauren." I call.

I hear the door unlock and it takes a moment before the door opens, revealing Calum.

"Wha-what the fuck?!" I shout.

"It's not like that." Lauren and Calum both say calmly in sync.

"Id better be off." Calum smiles to Lauren.

"Okay cal, let me know what happens with Stacey." She says, hugging him kindly.

He smiles quickly and leaves.

"Listen," I begin but she cuts me off. "I can't believe you're already accusing me of cheating when you've been here for three minutes." She says, crossing her arms over her chest and furrowing her eyebrows. "I can't believe how you got drunk last night, I can't believe how you turn up here thinking everything will be alright and I can't believe how much I want to apologise to you even though it was your fault." She stops, taking a deep breath, her eyes glistening with tears. "But the worst feeling of all is that I am sat here grieving over our argument and you're getting drunk at a party. I thought this time away from eachother would do us good but you wouldn't know because you probably can't remember ten fucking minutes of it!" Tears are rolling down her cheeks now and I reach my hand out to touch her arm but she cowers away.

"No." She whispers firmly.

I shut the door calmly and take a deep breath.

"Listen, screaming the place down will not solve anything." I tell her. "We need to sit and we need to talk about it. Talk like proper humans, not just shout at eachother." She goes to say something but stops herself, nodding.

We walk over to her bed and sit on it together.

"You should know by now that im not a very calm person. I get angry at the littlest things and I don't know why I was so pissed off yesterday. Im sorry." I tell her.

"It's not even that," she began, wiping away her tears. If me and her weren't so angry with eachother, id be the one doing that right now. "It's the fact that you didn't care Michael. I sat in here alone, crying and not doing anything because everything reminded me of you. I stared at that wall for half an hour, desperately wanting to ring you and tell you I loved you. I thought you'd be upset, even if you wouldn't show it like usual, it didn't occur to me that maybe you don't care as much as I thought you did and that you'd rather be drunk."

"The only reason I got fucking drunk was because I didn't know what to do with myself! I did it to forget because I was upset!" I shout, calming myself down. "What im trying to say is that I care Lauren, I really do. I care more than you'll ever know. Just because I don't show it it doesn't mean I don't care."

"I think we need time away from eachother. Not long, only a few days. Wait until this all blows over. We're together pretty much 24/7 at the moment and we just need to get on with ourselves and cool down our tempers for a few days." She says.

"And you promise you won't leave me?" I ask, thinking about the stress of having to find another girl and spend months trying to get in their pants.

I can't.

"I wouldn't do that." She says quietly.

"Ill stay at my flat." I tell her. She nods quietly. "Im sorry. I really am." I say after a moment of silence.

Im surprised when she crawls into my arms, placing her head on my chest and allowing me to rest my chin on her forehead.

After a moment, I pull away and stand to my feet, collecting my little pile of clothes containing only a few t shirts and a pair of ripped black jeans and leaving.

I walk through to mine and Calum's dorm, walking in as the door is slightly open.

Calum is sat on his bed on the phone, I collect the key to my flat and leave without saying anything.

I drive off campus, through the town towards Lauren's old cafe, past the gym and to the disgusting block of flats I used to live in.

I let myself in and walk through the echoey hall until I reach my flat.

I unlock the door of my flat and walk in, grimacing at the smell.

Everything is how I left it, even the way the dishes were left in the kitchen.

I walk through to my front room, jumping onto the sofa and laying down, staring at the crack in the ceiling.

I can deal with this for three days.

I walk around, laughing at the state I left the place in; the bed unmade, cans littering the front room and the kitchen in a state.

There's still a can of beer in the tiny fridge and I crack it open, sipping it and leaning against the counter.

{three days later}

I wake up, sprawled across my sofa, still in jeans and a t shirt and yawn. This past few days I hardly attended lessons but I did sort out my shit hole of a flat. I washed up, hoovered, took stuff to the dump and re arranged it all. and today im going back to see Lauren.

I drive around the block for a while, going to the McDonald's drive thru and driving around alone before I finally pluck up the courage to drive to uni.

The drive is slow and nerve wracking but I manage to stay focused and before I know it im parking on campus.

I climb out my car, shove my hands in my pockets and walk to the dorm block, down the hall to Lauren's door.

I knock and wait anxiously.

She answers, giving me a small smile.

I kiss her cheek softly and she lets me in.

"Are we okay?" I ask.

She lingers slightly before nodding.

"All we needed was time away." she replies.

"I just don't want to rush back into things." I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck.

She shrugs, placing herself down and takes a deep breath before placing her head in her hands.

"Im going to have to go and see my mum soon. She's ill." Lauren says after a moment.

"Shit, what's happened?" I ask, crouching beside her and rubbing her back soothingly.

"She found a lump," she begins, swallowing hard. "They think it's bad." She says after a moment of silence.

The room falls completely silent.

The ticking of the clock becomes louder and louder and I look at her, willing for her to carry on.

"I feel awful Michael, it's been so long since I've seen her. Im the worst daughter ever." She weeps, leaning into my chest.

"Listen, it's okay." I soothe, I haven't even met the woman but all Lauren needs right now is comfort. "Why didn't you get hold of me?!" I ask.

"I didn't want to cause trouble." She said, her voice muffled as her head was buried in my chest.

"Don't be silly!" I exclaim, allowing her to lay across me as I push small strands of hair out of her face. "I would've been right here for you." I sigh, feeling guilty.

She nods, sniffling slightly.

"I can take you to see your mum now?" I ask, looking down at her year stained yet still beautiful face.

"You would?" she asks, sitting up slightly.

"Of course baby." I reply.

"I love you so much." she weeps, pulling me into a tight hug. "I was stupid to ever let you go." She whispers into my chest, a gleaming smile spread across my face.

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