chapter 39

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(3 weeks later)
LAURENS POV
I can't believe he's actually going.
we've barely spoke since the day he announced that he was moving away, I haven't really bothered with him but to be honest he hasn't made effort either.
I decide to knock on his dorm door the morning he is leaving.

Calum answers the door with a towel around his waist, with wet scruffy hair.
"oh, hey." he smiles, opening the door wider, inviting me in.

I notice that Michael isn't here, his bags are packed on his bed though.

"where's Michael?" I ask quizzically.
"to be honest I don't know anymore, he goes for days on end." Calum chuckles. "probably with Luke and ash. he's leaving today."

we sit in silence for a moment, the room is so quiet I can hear Calum's bedside alarm clock ticking.

"I assumed he had been with you these past few weeks." Calum said out of nowhere, staring into space.

"no." I said. "we've actually barely spoken." I sigh, sitting on Michaels bed in between some bags.

I place my head in my hands. "I think you were right Calum." I say quietly.

"what?" he replies from the bathroom.

"don't worry."

he walks out a few minutes later, dressed in jogging bottoms and a white t shirt.

"what do you mean?" he asks again.

"I think Michael was just fucking me around." I say. "he was talking about how when he moves it's a fresh start for him and never once did he mention me going to see him in his new flat, or visiting me here." I begin to sob. "he tells me he loves me and drops me like that."

"oh Lauren. come here." Calum sighs, holding his arms open.

I stand and engulf myself in his arms, crying into his t shirt. "I hate him." I sob.

"you don't hate him." Calum soothes. "you love him. he loves you."

"why didn't you warn me earlier Calum! why didn't you tell me!" I shout between sobs. he looks shocked and removes his hands from around my waist.

"it's not my fault Lauren!" he says defensively.

"I didn't know until the night before it happened. I was going to say something I swear." he says, soothing his voice slightly, pulling me towards him. he looks into my eyes as he hugs me, he dips his head down slightly and turns his head to the side.

"what the fuck!" Michael shouts.

shit.

I push Calum's hands off me and storm out of the dorm room.

"Lauren get here now!" Michael shouts down the corridor.

I hear steps coming towards me, becoming louder each second, but I never turn my head.

Michael reaches out and grabs my wrist, swivelling me around so we are looking at each other.

"how could you?" he says, looking at me.

"nothing happened. plus why would you care Michael, you're going to start your new life today anyway."

he huffs and let's go of my hands, turning back towards his dorm. I carry on towards mine, stressed out that the first bit of attention that Michael has given me in weeks was only because he was angry.

I lay on my bed in my dorm, I should really do some work but I don't have the energy or strength right now.

Calum texts me 'come back. I want to help you." but I ignore it, I'm not getting involved with them boys again because all they ever caused was trouble.

I want to hate Michael but I can't, he gave me so much to remember, he changed so much for me. I love every piece of him. even his anger.

by evening, I figure Michael has gone so I text Calum back "what are you trying to get out of this?"

he replies almost instantly "don't be fucking ridiculous we are only friends"

I walk up the corridor to his dorm and stand outside the door, hesitant for a moment before I knock.

the knock is quiet and I'm almost hoping he didn't hear it, but he answers instantly.

"listen I don't know what I was thinking," he begins to blabber as soon as he opens the door. "it's just that he treats you so shit and you deserve someone good that doesn't have a go at you or doesn't only talk to you because they want to fuck you." he sighs, leaning his elbow against the wall. "I never even thought about you in a sexual way Lauren. the only way I ever saw you was beautiful and kind hearted, I could've made you so happy. but you decide to be with that dickhead."

he opens the door wider and I walk in, placing myself on Calum's bed.

he sits beside me.

"he's such a player." Calum says after a while of silence "and I'm not saying that just because I want you, I'm saying that because it's true, and after 6 years of being his best friend, I know what he's like Lauren. all he cares about is sex, yeah he'll buy you shit, tell you he loves you, call you his girlfriend, but he doesn't mean it. he does anything to guarantee that he can have sex, even his parents know that." he sighs.

I remember back to when we stayed at his parents house, how they kept calling me Danielle and how his dad was talking about the ridiculous amount of sex and girls that Michael has had.

and I realised. Calum was right all along. he wasn't just trying to break us up so he could have a chance with me, he wasn't trying to break us up so we would be unhappy, he was trying to break us up because it'll save me.

"and the reason I've drunk a lot and messed around a lot with girls lately is because watching him, lay with you and have you completely under his spell tears me apart. but I guess we'll see what happens now he's moved. Wether he bothers with either of us."

"doubt it." I say, staring into space.

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