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I got up, thinking, maybe it was Timmy, or Sonny. I wiped final tears peeking towards the door. Timmy held Bryson in a choke hold and Sonny was behind them, shutting the door.
"guys?" I said, showing myself.
"Apologize now, nigga" timmy tightened his grip around bryson's neck.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked them.
"We seen what he did to you Stas" Sonny got close to me.
"fucking apologize" timmy repeated himself.
Timmy had anger issues ever since we were little. The only people he didn't go off on was me and Sonny. He even went off on my mom for not quitting cocaine. But that was the reason he is not in school. He got expelled in 8th grade for trying to drown someone who messed with me. But he is only one year older than me, so he is supposed to be in 12th grade.
"I-im sorryy Anastasia" he began to tear up.
I furrowed my eyebrows. He cant possibly think I'd forgive him.
"Now delete the fucking video" Sonny demanded him, handing him his phone.
I seen him scramble around, tapping some things, looking paranoid as timmy and sonny watched him. Seconds later, Timmy threw him outside the house, locking the door.
"you good?" Sonny asked me.
"Yes I'm fine" i sighed looking down.
"Why did you do that?" I asked them.
"What do you mean Ana? He fucking raped you" Timmy said getting mad, making me scared.
"But now he knows where we live " I began to get even more scared, so I started to cry.
Timmy aggressively rubbed his hands through his dreads, trying to calm himself down. Sonny pulled me in to a hug as Timmy punched the wall.
-
"Bruh it's ok. Look she is here and shes ok" Sonny told Timmy.
I was listening to them through the door. Sonny was calming down, or trying to, Timmy.
"I know, I just cant believe he would fucking- I have to kill him" he cut himself off.
"Your not going to jail" Sonny said sternly.
"I never said I was. I'm gonna kill him" he repeated himself.
"Ok fine. If you need my help, let me know" Sonny said and I heard him get up from the bed.
I sighed, knowing he was 100% serious, and got up walking to the guest bathroom. I locked the door and searched for my hidden razor blade. I found it under some cotton swabs in a decorative bowl.
I took a seat on the toilet lid, and pulled up my shirt sleeve.
I had to cut. I felt so violated.
I traced the sharp object along my skin until I found a soft enough part to cut, and dug the blade in to my wrist. Blood instantly began to come out in droplets. They fell to the bathroom floor, and my tears mixed with them.
I cried silently, but the sniffles could still be heard. I wiped my face and put the blade down on the counter.
Timmy told me to stop cutting
But I wouldnt listen. It put some type of ease on me when I cut. I couldnt stop.
I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Anastasia" I heard sonny's voice.
"Y-yeah?" I asked him.
"You ok?" He asked, I guess he heard the sniffling.
"Yeah I'm fine" I lied.
"I'm going out to get some food from the Chinese restaurant. Whatchu want?" He told me.
"Same as always" I told him.
It meant I wanted fried rice, an egg roll, and sweet and sour chicken.
"Alright I gotchu" he said and I heard him walk away from the door.
I exhaled. He didnt suspect that I was cutting. When he found out I did, he had cried. Seeing him cry, made me cry.
flash back
"Ana?" 16 year Sonny, asked 14 year old Anastasia.
"Yeah?" I looked up, giving him my full attention.
"What is this?" He asked lifting up my left wrist.
I quickly yanked it back down. I avoided eye contact with him. I didnt want him to be disappointed in me.
"No- just tell me how you got those scars" he said the last part quietly.
"I-" I was cut off.
"You weren't cutting, were you?" He made a shocked looking face.
I glanced up at him, and then looked back down. He shook his head, rubbing his hand on his face. He pulled his hand away and I immediately noticed that his eyes looked so glossy.
He got up and was about to leave the room.
"Sonny-" I looked up at him, and he stopped himself from opening the door, turning back around to me.
"Yeah?" His voice seemed wobbly, and broken.
"I'm sorry" I told him.
He sighed, and came back to sit next to me.
"Its ok, I understand why you do it, just please stop. I already lost my mom and dad. Now all I have is you and timmy. I cant loose yall too " he wiped a tear that escaped his eye.
"I know. I'll try to stop" I assured him looking down.
He nodded, putting his hand on my head, and then leaving the room.
flash back over:
I got up from the toilet lid, and cleaned up my mess, grabbing my towel from the rack.
-
After I got out the shower, and changed in to pajamas, I went back in to the bedroom. I heard the front door open and Then the bedroom door opened.
Sonny walked in the bedroom, dropping the bag of food on the dresser. Timmy came in after, he was in the bathroom and we all ate in silence. I think it was silent. I wasnt really paying attention.
I laid down in my bed, thinking. So many thoughts on my mind. Why? Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I hate my life.
