So many of you are sending me stuff and it's all so God and Gahhh you're all damn fine lil shits and I sail you all with Claum
“She said that?”
“Yeah!”
“I mean, if Des said that to me I’d probably just flip her off but you and your sister actually have like one of those nauseating sweet relationships so I don’t know what to tell you.”
Shrugging Michael took a large bite of his pizza.
“I mean, I’m not trying to pick sides Ashton but it does sound kind of like you were mean to the babysitter.” Luke said slowly, ripping the crust of his pizza into shreds and feeding it to his cousin who was sitting on his lap wearing his sunglasses which were entirely too big for her face.
“She started it!” I cried.
“Who started what?” Liz questioned, walking outside to the back patio where we were sat with a pitcher of fruit punch.
“Ashton was a meanie to this girl and then his sister got mad and the babysitter quit and now he’s bummed because he think fame has changed him.”
“Luke sweetheart,” Liz sighed, “What have I told you about run on sentences?”
“To not to,” he muttered.
Sighing in defeat she nodded, “Yeah.”
“Why can’t you just hire the girl back?” Calum questioned.
“Because!” I cried, “She scares me!”
“She’s a girl!” Luke laughed.
“What does that matter?” Liz demanded, “DO I scare you?”
“No Mommy.” He replied.
“Is that so?” she asked, placing a hand on her hip.
His eyes widening Luke shit his head, “I mean, yes! Yes you do!”
“Mmm-hmmmm.” She muttered, “You better be afraid.”
“Why?” Michael asked.
“I’ve heard things.” She answered.
“What kind of things?” Calum asked.
“Things like you hung out with that Kendall Girl?”
“Oh that,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, that.” She replied, “Who had fun keeping up with the Kardashian?”
“They don’t like to be called Kardashians.” Luke whispered tentatively, “They’re….”
“Jenners.” Liz interrupted, “I know. That’s really rich though, since the only reason they’re famous is the Kardashians, you don’t see those Jenner boys on magazine covers, Brendon or Brad or Brandon and Buddy, or Bucky or…”
“Brody.” Calum answered.
“How do you know?” Michael laughed, “Do you watch the show?”
“No!” Calum cried blushing.
“Don’t be ashamed,” Luke said kindly, “The theme song is catchy, Hey! You looking kind of cute in that polka dot bikini gurl! That’s what I wanna do, take off that polka dot bikini gurl! Drink all night, play all night, let’s get it popping I’m in Miami bitch!”
“Luke!” Liz cried.
“What?” he asked.
“You are not allowed to use words like that, especially while holding a baby!”
