"It was the sole most embarrassing moment of my entire life!" I cried, jabbing my straw at the hunks of blue raspberry flavored ice in my cup, while Luke nodded next to me, urging me to go on as he took long sips of the slurpee.
"I mean who does he think he is?" I demanded with my mouth full, "He was just like, 'I guess you don't have the x factor' I mean what kind of insensitive ass hole says that?"
Luke nodded again, waiting for me to continue.
"I mean I freaking hate him right now!" I cried, "I thought we were friends but no all he cares about is revenge on Michael! Like who does that, let it go!"
"I've always thought he was a dick," Luke mumbled with his mouth full, his lips stained a shocking blue.
"He's a vindictive self obsessed leprechaun with a napoleon complex!" I cried.
Suddenly Luke's eyes widening and dropping his slurpee to the pavement he rose from the curb outside the seven eleven where we were sitting.
"What?" I questioned.
"I have an idea," Luke replied grabbing my hand and hauling me to my feet.
Following him over to his car where his Mom was sat watching us, I got into the backseat while he got into the passenger seat beside her.
"Done so soon?" She asked closing the magazine she had been reading.
"We need to get to Michael's ASPCA!" He cried.
"You need to get to Michael's American Society for the Prevention of cruelty to Animals?" She said slowly.
"No the other one!" Luke sighed buckling his seatbelt.
"ASAP?" She replied.
"Yeah that one!" He groaned, "Hurry it's of the utmost importance!"
Surprised he had actually gotten such big words right I watched as Liz sighed and started the car.
"I thought you and Michael had a fight?" She said as she pulled out of the more or less empty parking lot.
"Why would you think that?" Luke asked.
"Because he left a voicemail on the home phone calling you a no good, idiotic virgin dipshit."
"He said that?" Luke asked.
"He also threatened to, and I quote, 'chop off your freakishly long pixie stick legs, grill them up and stop world hunger in jungle boy's home town.'"
"Wow," Luke breathed, "I guess he's more madder then I thought."
"Luke sweetheart More madder isn't grammatically correct," Liz said patiently.
"More angrier?"
"No just get rid of the more."
"No more angrier?"
"No, no, he was madder, he was angrier, the more really isn't necessary."
"So if I said he was madder then I thought that would be more better?"
"I give up," Liz sighed.
"What?" Luke demanded.
"Honey I love you," Liz sighed, "But you really need help."
"What like a tutor?" Luke asked.
"Yes," Liz replied, "we could find you a nice college gir....."
"I want Ashton," Luke interrupted.
"What?" I coughed, choking on my spit.
"You're smart," Luke replied, "you could tutor me. It'll be fun!"
