"You four are lucky that I don't wear belts because if I did I would beat you until you had to shit standing up."
Wincing, I looked down at my hands.
"Are you freaking kidding me? Groupies? Really?"
"I didn't know they were....."
"Save it Michael! I am so disgusted right now. You don't know anything about those girls, every single one of them could be crawling with diseases for all you know!"
Michael bit his lip and looked down.
"I should call your Mothers!" Liz continued.
"No!" Calum cried, "Please don't!"
"Do you not understand what you did?" Liz demanded, "You should all just right man whore on your foreheads because that's what you are!"
"I don't think it's that bad." Michael said slowly, "You're acting like we had a five some."
"Oh my God!" Liz huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "You don't know anything about those girls! How old were they? Were they clean? And don't even get me started on the tattoos!"
Wincing, I looked down at the freshly inked tattoo on my wrist.
"Ashton, yours at least makes since but on your ass Cal, really? And Mikey, I hope this band thing works out because if you ever need a real job it's not going to happen with a finger tattoo! And Luke, a tramp stamp, really?"
"In his defense it does say Charlie." Calum said slowly.
"Save it ink ass." Liz snapped.
"We are eighteen." Michael mumbled.
"Yes," Liz sighed, "Eighteen. I know you think you're so cool and old know, but when you're my age, and your daughter is eighteen and you find out she's fucked some random dude she doesn't know the name of, and gotten a tattoo on her ass, what are you going to think?"
Luke raised his hand tentatively.
"Yes Luke?" she groaned.
"I'd be angry." Luke admitted sheepishly.
"See!" Liz cried, "Believe it or not Luke, you're my baby, all of you, this tour, it's amazing. I couldn't be prouder. I just really don't want to see you ruin it for yourselves."
"I'm sorry Mama." Luke sniffed, "It won't happen again."
"It better not." She sighed.
Rising to his feet, Luke moved to hug her, however she held a hand out, stopping him.
"I want you all to shower." She said sternly, "Thoroughly, every nook and cranny, I don't want to so much as catch a lingering whiff of those girls when you're done, you got it?"
"Got it." We all mumbled in unison.
"Good." She sighed, "When you're done, I want you to strip your beds, take your pillow cases off your pillows, and then you can go on twitter and apologize to your fans for being slutty."
"I can't do all that, I have a headache." Michael groaned.
"That my friend, is a hangover." Liz replied, "And that's your own fault mister. I'll go get you some Advil while you're in the shower."
"Thanks." Michael mumbled.
"Don't let me catch you with groupies again, or I won't be this nice." She sighed.
"This is you being nice?" Calum cried, massaging his temples.
"Do you want the Advil or don't you?" she asked.
