“Wait, don’t tell me, Heaven is a place on earth. I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn’t show you what you’re really worth.”
I could tell the others were listening to me from where they sat in the front of the bus, but I didn’t care, strumming on Luke’s guitar I continued.
“The way that you held me, I wish that I’d put you first. I was wrong I admit, numb to your kiss while you were slipping through my fingertips.”
Sighing, I looked down at the box of baby clothes, toys, bottles and blankets that sat at my feet.
“Taking every breath away,” I sang slowly, “With all of the mistakes I’ve made. From all the letters that I’ve saved, this is everything I didn’t say. I wish I could’ve made you stay, and I’m the only one to blame, I know that it’s a little too late, this is everything I didn’t say.”
Too choked up to continue, I set the guitar down and looked at the tear stained letter in my hands. I don’t know why I had written, Liz had suggested it, each of us writing a letter for Minnie to leave with her when they buried her.
“Ashton, are you coming?” Luke called from the front of the bus.
“Yeah,” I called back hoarsely tucking the letter in my pocket and pulling my suit jacket on over my shirt.
Taking a deep breath I shuffled over to where the others were sat, also clad in suits, Charlie and Destiny in dresses and stopped.
“You okay?” Charlie asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, “I’m fine.”
Nodding, but looking like she didn’t believe me, she crossed over to me and tentatively wrapped her arms around my waist.
Blinking repeatedly to keep my tears at by, I melted into her embrace until she pulled away.
“Is everyone ready?” Liz asked.
“No,” Luke mumbled.
Sighing, Liz pulled him in for a hug.
“I suppose you don’t have to go if you really don’t want to, but I think it would be best if you do.”
Pulling back Luke nodded, “I want to go.”
-
The funeral was horrible, there was no rain, in fact it was sunny, birds sang, and in the distance, across the street from the small cemetery was a water park, which meant the small, balding priest had to yell over the excited shrieks of kids having fun, something Minnie, who lay closed off on a coffin small enough to carry would never get to experience.
After what seemed like an eternity the priest finished talking and we dropped our letters into the hole in the ground where her coffin lay. We then stood there and watched burry it with dirt. The workers then said generic apologies and shuffled away.
Feeling sick, I then pushed through the small crowd of tour people, one direction boys and crew that had come before dropping to my knees next to the small little headstone that had her name on it, her birth and her death.
Tentatively, I reached out, and wincing at the coolness of the smooth stone traced her name, my finger lingering on the last part, Irwin.
“Ashton honey,” Liz said gently behind me, “I hate to do this but we have to go.”
Nodding, I reached into my pocket and retrieved a small, pink teddy bear. Leaning it against the stone I rose slowly to my feet.
“You okay?” Harry asked.
