Baby Freemans

Soul of an Angel

"Y-your voice-"

"Jada-"

"Ms. London! You have such a magnificent voice!"

"How long have you been standing there?"

"I got here early to start rehearsing for the show and I heard you."

Jeanette only stood there.

"Why don't you sing anymore?" I asked.

Jeanette sighs, sitting down next to me.

"Years ago, when Jessica was only 3, her mother Jayla died."

"She died of cancer. Jessica told me a while ago."

"Yes. You see, Jessica's mother, was my only child."

My eyes widened. It all made sense now. Jeanette was Jessica's grandmother. That's why they not only were really close, but Jessica knew her, her entire life.

"I'm so sorry," I say, placing a hand on Jeanette's back. A tear slipped from her eye, dropping to the ground.

"She was my pride and joy. Jayla Ja'nae London. I was 16 when I had her. I was in the same situation you're in now."

"How did you know I was-" I began but Jeanette chuckled.

"You act the same way I did when I was your age." That made sense. "I used to sing to Jessica every night after her mother died. That helped her a lot when she was little since she was always sad because of her mother's death. But as Jessica got older and started looking like her mother, I stopped singing for her."

I could see so much pain on her face and her voice was telling it all too. She missed her daughter more than anything and singing brought back so many memories of her.

"I don't know if you know this," I began. "But my mother died when I was young too." Jeanette looks up at me. "I was only a couple months. Just a little bit closer to being a year. My mom had some sort of illness and died shortly after. My father died of Ebola months before I was even born. All I had was my grandfather and brothers. But now, all I have is my brothers."

My vision began to blur as I continued,

"But with these babies coming, I'm afraid I'll lose their father too."

Jeanette quickly looked at me, watching as I broke down. Tears just streaming down my face without hesitation, making it look like I had been holding it in forever.

"Do I find it so hard?" Jeanette began. "When I know in my heart. Im letting you down everyday."

"I'm letting you down everyday." I join. "Why do I keep on running away?"

Jeanette hugged me, smiling.

"I'll sing with you tonight," she says. "For you, for Jessica, and for Jayla."

I smiled.

-_-

Caesar was still in California. He didn't wanna leave me until he knew I was going home. But once I went home, I knew he wouldn't be there.

Caesar was on his phone in the middle of a park, losing at a game he was actually really good at. You could tell he wasn't in a good place and I was the only one to blame.

I didn't really know what to say in a situation like this. What could I say?

I took a deep breath. Deciding to take action.

"Yes I do, I believe, that one day I will be where I was, right there. Right next to you. And it's hard, the days just seem so dark, the moon, the stars are nothing without you. Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain the way I'm missing you. Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside, these tears, they tell their own story. Told me not to cry, when you were gone. But the feelings over whelming, it's much too strong."