Hetalia one-shots

Peter's Birthday Party (Sealand, FrUK)

Prompt: "I don't want the hoes to juggle!" *followed by a soft sob*

Having your little brother, who you barely ever got to see anymore, and your boyfriend, who always wanted to do things a certain way, in the same house was going to be a piece of work. But it was little Peter's birthday, and his adopted parents had confided in Arthur that he would 'just love to spend it with his big brother, Arthur, wouldn't that be lovely?' Well, that was Tino. Berwald was more the 'grunt and glare' type.

So Arthur had agreed. After all, he did love Peter. But he had given some of the responsibility to Francis, for the party. He had practically raised his younger cousin Matthew, so he'd know what to get for a boy's birthday, right?

Wrong. Bloody hell, Arthur had never been more wrong in his life.

"Can I have people over, Arthur?" Peter said excitedly. Arthur hummed in response, focusing more on the cake he was trying to make (and trying really hard not to burn). Peter took that as an affirmative, and grabbed the home phone from the table, running off to call up his friends -- a deathly shy boy a few years older than him, and a sweet little girl with the most terrifying brother. Arthur was satisfied; that would take him awhile. Now to go find Francis, with the entertainment...

Speak of the devil. Francis walked in at that moment, talking intently on the phone with someone. The entertainment for Peter's birthday, most likely. Arthur smiled and went back to frosting the cake.

"Ah, merci again." Francis said into the phone, leaning against the kitchen counter. "We'll be ready whenever you are. Goodbye." He hung up the phone.

"Who did you decide to get for the party?" Arthur asked, just as he finished the frosting. Francis smirked.

"Oh, you'll see, cher." He wrapped his arms around him from behind, much to Arthur's mild chagrin. "I think you'll like it too."

Hm, but will Peter like it, was the real question. Nevertheless, he trusted him. And Arthur knew he cared for him, and in turn that meant he cared for Peter too.

There was a knock on the front door. Arthur unhooked himself from his boyfriend before wiping his hands on a dishcloth and going to open it.

And then he promptly slammed it shut again. What the hell...?!

"I take it that wasn't one of the guests~?" Francis had the nerve to say.

"WHY ARE THERE HOOKERS AT MY LITTLE BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY, FRANCIS BONNEFOY?!"

Silence. Arthur fumed. And Tino and Berwald were never going to let him visit again, and...and he wouldn't see his brother...

"Arthur?"

"Go fix this." He growled. "Get real kid entertainment. Now, Francis, or so help me--"

"Kid entertainment?" Francis repeated skeptically. "I thought you just meant entertainment."

Arthur gave him such a look that he immediately shut up. "Just... take care of them."

"Oh, I'll take care of them all right~" Francis said. Being pansexual as fuck, Arthur was sure he would.

"Not like that!" Arthur sighed deeply, rubbing his sore temples. "Just explain to them the misunderstanding, and... I dunno, ask them to juggle or something."

"But they're hoes!" Francis gasped. "I don't want the hoes to juggle! That's waste of some perfectly good hoes!"

"Let's be honest." Arthur deadpanned. He wasn't even thinking anymore, he was just so pissed off. "You do this, love, and I'll give you a better time than any hoes can anyway."

And Francis had witnessed it before so he was more than happy to do as he was told~