The Young Gladiatrix

Fear Of Striking

As Ash and Neville sat in the small foyer, Decimus, Howard, Stafford and Kaiser entered carrying drinks and snacks for the group. The men acknowledging the pair sat at the table with small nods. As they took their seats, with Decimus and Kaiser taking the two on either side of Ash; Neville spoke. "Ash. You fear striking your opponent. With the lance, you're as confident as ever in striking. But when it comes to striking with a weapon during hand to hand combat, you fear it. Is there a specific reason for this?" He knew there had to be a reason for the fear. If it even was a fear, that is. Maybe she just didn't want to win hand to hand combat. Or maybe she just couldn't be bothered with it. But they'd find out eventually.
"I don't necessarily fear striking. I fear killing my opponent. All the times I've held a weapon, has been with the intention to kill. I'd rather not kill in a jousting tournament. The people come to see jousting. Not killing. Yielding. Not killing. I can fight with my bare fists and still do damage. But I have never heard of a knight fighting empty handed. I can allow myself to be disarmed instantly, but the crowd would realise that I did it on purpose. Is there not a way I can fight without a weapon?" questioned Ash, watching the knights across from her as Decimus gripped her hand under the table. Subtly reminding her to remain calm. Just as a precaution. He didn't want her getting angry.  "You can fight empty handed if you wish. All you have to do is make it clear to the jester that you are fighting without a weapon. Sometimes though, it is wise to use a weapon. We won't always be your opponents. You'll be up against men that won't hesitate to do whatever it takes to take you down in any way possible. They won't go easy on you if you're disarmed. You will have to learn to strike, Ash. Even against us. You will have to learn to strike" replied Howard, watching her. He knew she'd listened to every word by how she was looking at him.
"I'll learn eventually, I guess. I just don't want to hurt my friends. Enemies. Fine, I'll break their fingers or something. But my friends. I can't hurt you guys. Play fighting, yeah, I'll probably hurt you unintentionally. But when I really need to fight. I can't do it" she sighed, leaning back in her seat. Decimus squeezed her hand softly in an attempt to reassure her. He knew she was fine, he was just doing it to reinforce how she was feeling. "Then lets 'play fight'. It will encourage you to use your body more effectively, and at the same time, it will teach you how to break out of your opponents grip, and how to get a hold of them yourself" commented Stafford, watching Ash. "Each man here has a different fighting style. Neville is tactical, Howard is aggressive, I'm brute force and aggression, and Decimus is speed. Each a different fighting style that you might encounter in hand to hand combat. And in light of all of this, your jousts against myself and Howard will be postponed for a few days, maybe a few weeks until your confidence in hand to hand combat is the best it can be"
Ash simply nodded at what had been said. Agreeing with what Stafford had said about the play fighting and everything that it could help her with.
"Can we rest first though? It's been a long day, and I'm tired. Maybe even a little nauseous. I just need to sleep, and have some time to think about what's been said. Don't worry, I listened to every word that you said, and I completely agree and I'm all for experiencing the different fight styles. I'd just like to rest first" replied Ash, earning a nod from Stafford. "Fine by me. Rest, eat and spend some time with Decimus. We'll start tomorrow, and it will be just us in the room. No one else. No arena elders. No guards. Just us knights, Decimus and your father if he wishes to attend" Again, the words earned a nod from Ash as she sipped at her drink that each of them had been given prior to the conversation starting. Something about the drink tasted funny to her. Maybe it was a little more bitter than usual. And a little fizzier than she rememberd. Was this an alcoholic drink? It definitely had a more potent taste than normal juice.
Shaking away the thought, she set the mug down on the table. Shifting to the side fo Decimus to sit beside her on the small bench she was on. Once he had done so, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her gently to him as the conversation once more returned to a happy one. Talks of new horses, and their training regime.
A conversation Ash thoroughly enjoyed as she was offered the chance to train a horse. But she still couldn't shake the taste of that drink from her mouth.

[Authors Note: It's been a while, huh? Sorry about that guys. I've been busy, and my mind has been elsewhere]