The Young Gladiatrix

Promises of Calm

It had been several days since Ash had last spoken to Decimus and the knights. She had distanced herself purposely in order to give herself time to think. She knew her attitude had to change. She knew she had to calm down, and had to relax a little. Her constant temper and lashing out had to change. A year in the arena hadn't done much to change her. If anything, it may have made her worse. But she knew she had to change.
With a sigh, Ash sat on the front row seats around the arena. Her head resting in her arms on the railings. She'd gone almost a week without trying to kill anyone, and without lashing out verbally or physically. And she'd felt a lot better for it. Maybe this peace of mind was what she needed. It was another warm day in Rome, so again, she wore nothing but her shorts, boots and chest wrappings. The male members of the arena wore nothing but their trousers and their boots. Their swords still remained around their waists. The warmth was another reason she remained calm. It would only make her warmer and more frustrated if she got worked up or angry over something. Not to mention how tiresome her attitude was becoming. The guards knew now that if Ash was in a mood, she'd make it known. If she was angry, she'd make it known.
As she sat in silence just watching the guards bathing their horses; Decimus and the knights walked up behind her. The knights jumping over the seats to her sides, whilst Decimus hugged her from behind for a moment. "You've been quiet lately. Is everything ok?" he asked, sitting back in his seat now as she turned in hers to lean back against the railings. Having to balance so that she didn't fall between the seats and the wall. "Everything is fine, Decimus. I just took a few days to think. It's been quiet around here hasn't it? It's been calmer. The guards aren't as edgy as they usually are. I promised that guard that I was gonna change and that I was gonna behave and calm down. Look how it has been around the arena since I said that. The guards seem happier to work when I'm calm around them. They no longer look to me for conflict. Word has been going around that we're leaving soon, but my father wants to speak again before that happens. And by speak. He probably means fight. I do not wish to fight, but I will to defend myself. And defend myself only. It will not be a fight in cold blood. If I hate the man so much, I should not give him my time. But if he wishes for it, I shall give it. Still though, I'd rather not argue and fight so much. It's not worth it, and it's only affecting my ability to stay focused when it really matters. Must I fight my father if he approaches?"
The knights and Decimus were stunned to silence for a moment. They had noticed the changes around the arena recently since Ash had quietened down. And the fact that she was questioning whether ot not she should fight her father was enough of an indicator that she was trying to change. "You do not have to fight your father. But you do have to defend yourself if necessary" said Lord Stafford, watching Ash. It was common of knights to have moments like these. It was often a sign that they were understanding the code of chivalry, and, although the code of chivalry had never been used by a female knight before, Ash was managing just fine. And was understanding it more and more each day. She didn't want to fight her father, her blood, her relative. She still showed respect in that matter, even though she hated the man. "What do I do if he approaches for a fight that I do not want?" she asked again. The questions were good. It meant she was learning and finally asking when it really mattered. "You say that you do not wish to fight. And if he forces it, you defend yourself" replied Sir Neville as he gazed at Decimus who was still silent.
"I will defend myself should the need arise. But for now, I wish to remain where it is peaceful. Life seems easier when things are quiet. And when things are quiet, it allows me to speak to you guys without being upset or anything like that. It also allows me to work with my horses in peace. Things really are much more peaceful when you live like this" she sighed, it was a relaxed sigh as she leaned her head back slightly. The sun beating down on her lightly tanned skin.
The knights once more shared a look with Decimus. The man had gained a smile upon his lips. A loving gaze as he looked at Ash. It was clear he loved her attitude now. She'd made a change for herself, and for those around her. And things had changed. The guards no longer pestered her. Nor did they try and pick fights with her.
And for that. The knights. And Decimus. Were very grateful.

[Authors Note: Think of this as a part where Ash's change begins. I'm really not so sure about her fighting her father now. It seems like a step back for me. But we'll see where this goes]