Tokyo ghoul

Chapter 119

I sat in the back garden, on the grass, in the rain thinking to myself, do I really want this.
"Taiga!" Ayato shouted. I turned my head to look at him and smiled slightly. "Hey." I whispered.
"What are you doing you must be freezing." He said running over with an umbrella. "Let's get you inside and dry and warm."
"Don't you think the rain is just....amazing. It's thought of as such a sad thing, but it's so calming."
"Look taiga I know you're sad but-"
"-not sad. Just....shocked."
"Be shocked inside, where it's nice and warm, please" he said holding his hand out. I took his hand an he pulled me up, holding the umbrella over my head.
"Thanks" I muttered smiling innocently as he guided me inside. He sat me down in the kitchen and threw a towel around me.
"How about I run you a nice warm bath and then we can go and talk"
"No. Let's talk now" I said blankly.
"Well I meant we could maybe plan something for Hide. Like a ceremony."
"You mean celebrate his death."
"No. Not his death but his life. We have a little gathering and we just take the time to say good bye and exchange good memories of Hide. Closure. It might cheer you up a bit."
"That sounds lovely but there's just one thing."
"What is it?"
"Kanekis gone rogue no body can find him. How do you expect to have a funeral type thing without hide's best friend."
"Kaneki doesn't have to be here for all of us to pay our respects. And honestly, I think he may have already said good bye."
"Okay then, what did you have in mind for this "ceremony"'
"I was thinking we light a few candles get some flowers and throw them into the river, everyone gets a flower and throws it in after they've said something."
"Ayato that actually sounds great. And it's dark outside so we could do it now."
"But it's raining?"
"Exactly. It's perfect"

Raiden, Itori, aoi, Takasu, Annoura and Ayato all stood at the river with a flower each.
Aoi and Takasu walked up to the river.
"We don't really know Hide but he seemed like a great guy that didn't deserve to die and for that we offer our condolences to all of you." They threw the flower in the river am stood next to me. Everyone had something covering them like and umbrella or something but I didn't, I was letting the rain wash away my grief.
Itori and Hide walked to the river.
"We didn't know him long, but we knew him well. He was a good guy and he loved you taiga. He loved Kaneki too, and Hinami, it's just a shame they couldn't be here." Itori said throwing her flower.
"Taiga. I saw how much he loved you. He wouldn't want you grieving over this for long and he especially wouldn't want you to hurt yourself in order to become stronger, you're the strongest person he knew." Raiden said throwing his flower.
Annoura said a few words before throwing her flower.
I walked towards the river holding the flower in my hands, looking down as the droplets of rain ran down the petals.
"Hide was like a closed flower. Looks one way from the outside, but had so much more inside. He died protecting Kaneki, he was killed because he was in the ccg and he was in the ccg to protect Kaneki. He wasn't selfish or self-centred, all he did was for other people. I had the privilege of knowing him for a while, I had the pleasure of learning who he was and I have to say, I don't regret anything but not having longer to be with him. He was too young. He didn't deserve to die" I said as a tear landed on the flower. "He shouldn't have died." I began crying when in dropped to my knees into the wet mud. "It should have been me! I've sinned! I've killed! You protected people, saved people! You were punished for being friends with ghouls" I said looking down.
"Get up." Someone said. I looked up, holding the flower in my hand and Ayato stood there holding something that looked like a present. He helped me up and I then threw the flower into the river. i took a deep breath and turned into Ayato, hugging him, crying into his chest. He bent down and swooped me up into his arms and carried me into the house, upstairs and dropping me into the shower. He turned it on, left the present outside and got in with me.
"I'm gonna get out in a minute, you need to get washed, put that robe on and meet me in your room. I have something for you." He said kissing my head and walking out.