31: Deserve to be hurt

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The Dream House Part Thirty One

TW: Mentions of self harm

Ironic, the last Karl chapter was titled 'I don't deserve this' lol
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Tubbo's POV

I was about to use the way I usually walk through, when I saw Phil's car across the street from school. I haven't been more relieved. I got in the front and waited for him to speak.

"How was school?" Phil greeted.

"It was cool!" I said, seeing his smile disappear.

"Tubbo, I want you to be more honest with me." He requested sternly.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I just want to make sure you're doing okay."

"I am okay, Phil. I promise."

"So how was school?" He asked again, face more serious than the first time.

"It was more boring than usual. My friends weren't there the whole day and I have no idea where they are but none of them told me anything. I did talk to Eryn once though."

"Aw... your friends are mean."

"Yeah, it's fine."

Karl's POV

I awaited for Tommy's appearance outside. Ten minutes past and he's still not out. I know he doesn't take that long to shower, I decided to check on him.

I knocked on his door slightly, hearing him invite me in. He was laying on his bed, his head was at the edge of the bed hanging upside down.

"Hi." He said, looking at me upside down.

"Why are you laying like that?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

"It somehow refrains me from crying." He answered.

"You spent a while in here, why didn't you come out?" I questioned, sitting on the floor, against Tommy's closet.

"I only took ten minutes and I didn't come out because I feel safe in my room." He said, annoyed by me.

I find that weird as he probably has multiple sharp objects.

"I just got worried. How do you feel, Tommy? Actually tell me."

He didn't hesitate to spill out his feelings to me.

"I feel more on edge and feel like I've lost some of my friends. Almost every time I predict something bad is gonna happen, it actually does and I don't know whether to find that cool or be more afraid."

"It's normal to be afraid about that, Tommy."

"Karl, you don't have to be here... I'll only yell at you like I did to Ranboo."

"Even if you did yell at me, I'd either try me best to calm you down or just apologize and walk out without slamming the door. What did you tell Ranboo earlier?" I asked curiously.

"Well he asked me why I keep thinking about... harming myself and I told him that it's hard to stop thinking about it and he doesn't understand. As if I deserve to be hurt."

I totally understand. It's like you feel the whole world is against you and you feel undeserving and hated. I've felt that. I just couldn't bring myself to tell Tommy, and plus he's the one we're talking about right now, I don't want to make it about me either.

"He didn't go through what you're going through, Tommy. You can't expect him to know everything." I told Tommy.

"I know but-" He cut off, interrupted by a cough.

"Tommy, sit up straight." I ordered, getting up to his bed and helping him up.

His cough sounded really bad, I wanted to get him water.

"Are you okay?" I concerned.

He nodded, clearing his throat.

I got his bottle from the dressing table and gave it to him, watching him drink it quickly.

"You were saying?"

"Never mind. How are you? Also, what happened to you in the past few days?" Tommy questioned.

I wanted to talk about him but he was probably uncomfortable by it. I respected his privacy and answered his question.

"I'm fine, and since the beach I was with Jimmy, you know Mr. Beast. Turns out he was not the good person I thought he was."

"Oh? How so?"

"He hurt me physically and he didn't want me to leave his house."

"What?! I never knew that!"

"Yeah. Thankfully, Quackity and Sapnap got me out of there."

"Wow, I'm sorry." Tommy apologized.

"What, no, don't be!" I rejected, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"I've been talking about me and didn't know this happened to you."

"Tommy, don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault that you didn't know and I wanted you to talk about yourself this whole time."

"How bad did he hurt you..?" Tommy asked softly.

"Pretty bad..." I answered, showing him a bruise on my ribs.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Tommy gasped.

"Yeah but as you said, Tommy, I feel like I deserve to be hurt."
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[795 words]

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