The Original Poems

~A thousand~

I can't stay here 

In this place I once called home 

I can't stay but I can't go 

I can't live 

Like this

But I can't-

I can't just give up, can I? 

No, 

I know I could 

But mostly fear 

Is keeping me here 

At least right now 

As terrible as that sounds

I don't want to stay 

But I don't-

I can't go 

So I'm stuck 

In this life 

That's become everything I hate, somehow 

I don't know if there was ever anything

That felt genuine 

Or if this was it...

Nothing 

Nothing 

Seems to work anymore 

Nothing at all seems to matter

Time just goes by

Too fast for me to keep track of 

Too slow 

Because then, 

You won't do anything 

You won't 

So then I'll have to try 

I'll try the same things I tried before 

Hoping I could get rid of this emptiness 

I still feel 

Same as before 

Same as always 

Why did I even try to pretend 

Try to believe 

Things would be different? 

If I made it to the future, then things would be somehow okay?

But no

They aren't 

No matter where I am 

No matter what I do 

I can't seem to make a difference 

No one seems to really notice 

Or maybe they do 

For a second 

Then they disappear again-

Right as I needed help the most 

So I'll just cut all ties with you 

I won't try to reach out and I know you won't 

But that works out fine for me 

I want to be alone 

I don't want you to try 

To convince me to do something 

Anything 

I don't want 

You to pretend to care

Maybe you do